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Mul. I marvaile that my husband comes not yet; but see where he is now, and brings my cloake with him.
Men. I muse where the knave should be.
Mul. I will go ring a peale through both his eares for this dishonest behaviour. Oh Sir, ye are welcome home with your theevery on your shoulders.
ye not ashamed to let all the world see and speake
Men. How now? what lackes this woman?
Mul. Impudent beast, stand ye to question about it? 15 For shame hold thy peace.
Men. What offence have I done, woman, that I should
not speake to you?
Mul. Askest thou what offence? O shameless bold
Men. Good woman, did ye never heare why the Grecians termed Hecuba to be a bitch?
Men. Because she did as you do now; on whom soever
she met withall, she railed, and therefore well 25 deserved that dogged name.
Mul. These foul abuses and contumelies, I can never endure, nay rather will I live a widowes life to my dying day.
Men. What care I whether thou livest as a widow, or
live a widowes life, rather then suffer thy vile
Men. Prethee for my part, live a widow till the worldes
end, if thou wilt.
Mul. Even now thou deniedst that thou stolest it from me, and now thou bringest it home openly in my sight. Art not ashamde?
Men. Woman, you are greatly to blame to charge me with stealing of this cloake, which this day an other gave me to carry to be trimde.
Mul. Well, I will first complaine to my father. Ho boy, who is within there? Vecio go runne quickly 45 to my father; desire him of all love to come over quickly to my house. Ile tell him first of your prankes; I hope he will not see me thus handled. Men. What a Gods name meaneth this mad woman thus to vexe me?
Mul. I am mad because I tell ye of your vile actions and lewde pilfring away my apparell and my jewels, to carry to your filthie drabbes.
Men. For whome this woman taketh mee I knowe not. I know her as much as I know Hercules wives 55 father.
Mul. Do ye not know me? That's well. I hope ye know my father: here he comes. Looke do ye know him?
Men. As much as I knew Calcas of Troy. Even him 60
and thee I know both alike.
Mul. Doest know neither of us both, me nor my
Men. Faith, nor thy grandfather neither.
Mul. This is like the rest of your behaviour.
* Sen. Though bearing so great a burthen as olde age, I can make no great haste, yet as I can, I will goe to my daughter, who I know hath some earnest
businesse with me, that shee sends in such haste,
Mul. Father, ye are welcome.
Sen. How now daughter? What? is all well; why
is your husband so sad? have ye bin chiding? tell
Mul. First father know, that I have not any way 85 misbehaved my selfe; but the truth is, that I can by no meanes endure this bad man to die for it; and therefore desire you to take me home to you againe.
Sen. What is the matter?
Mul. He makes me a stale and a laughing stocke to all
Sen. Who doth ?
Mul. This good husband here, to whom you married me.
Sen. See, see; how oft have I warned you of falling 95
out with your husband?
Mul. I cannot avoid it, if he doth so fowly abuse me. Sen. I alwaies told ye, ye must beare with him, ye must let him alone; ye must not watch him, nor dog him, nor meddle with his courses in any sort. Mul, Hee hauntes naughtie harlottes under my nose.
Sen. He is wiser, because hee cannot bee quiet at home.
Sen. Wold ye have your husband serve ye as your 105 drudge? Ye will not let him make merry, nor
entertaine his friendes at home.
Mul. Father will ye take his part in these abuses, and forsake me?
Sen. Not so, daughter; but if I see cause, I wil as well 110 tel him of his dutie.
Men. I would I were gone from this prating father and
Sen. Hitherto I see not but hee keepes ye well, ye want
nothing, apparell, mony, servants, meate, drinke, 115 all thinges necessarie. I feare there is fault in you. Mul. But he filcheth away my apparell and my jewels, to give to his Trulles.
Sen. If he doth so, tis verie ill done; if not, you doo ill
to say so. Mul. You may believe me father, for there you may see my cloake which now he hath fetcht home againe, and my chaine which he stole from me.
Sen. Now will I goe talke with him to knowe the truth. Tel me Menechmus, how is it that I heare such 125 disorder in your life? Why are ye so sad, man? wherein hath your wife offended you?
Men. Old man (what to call ye I know not) by high Jove, and by all the Gods I sweare unto you, whatsoever this woman here accuseth mee to have stolne 130 from her, it is utterly false and untrue; and if ever I set foote within her doores, I wishe the greatest miserie in the worlde to light uppon me.
Sen. Why fond man, art thou mad, to deny that thou
ever setst foote within thine owne house where 135
Men. Do I dwell in that house?
Sen. Doest thou denie it?
Men. I do.
Sen. Harke yee daughter; are ye remooved out of your 140
Mul. Father he useth you as he doth me: this life I
have with him.
Sen. Menechmus, I pray leave this fondnesse; ye jest too perversly with your friends.
145 Men. Good old father, what I pray have you to do
with me? or why should this woman thus trouble me, with whom I have no dealings in the world? Mul. Father, marke I pray how his eies sparkle: they
rowle in his head; his colour goes and comes: he 150 lookes wildly. See, see.
Men. What? they say now I am mad: the best way for me is to faine my selfe mad indeed, so shall I be rid of them.
Mul. Looke how he stares about! how he gapes. Sen. Come away daughter: come from him. Men. Bachus, Appollo, Phœbus, do yee call mee to come hunt in the woods with you? I see, I heare, I come, I flie; but I cannot get out of these fields. Here is an olde mastiffe bitch stands barking at 160 mee; and by her standes an old goate that beares false witnesse against many a poore man.
Sen. Out upon him Bedlam foole.
Men. Harke, Appollo commaunds me that I shoulde
rende out hir eyes with a burning lampe.
Mul. O father, he threatens to pull out mine eyes.