which he had undoubtedly noticed, as had Mrs T., the state of things between Mr Titmouse and his daughter,-talking of whom, by the way, he could assure Mr Gammon that they had both been ill ever since that unfortunate evening, and had never ceased to condemn his monstrous conduct. As for his daughter, she was growing thinner and thinner every day, and he thought he must send her to the country for a short time.

To all this Mr Gammon listened with a calm, delightful, sympathizing look, that quite transported Tag-rag, and satisfied him that Mr Gammon implicitly believed every word that was being said to him. But when he proceeded to assure Tag-rag that this visit of his had been undertaken at the earnest instance of Mr Titmouse himself, (who, by the way, had removed to lodgings which would do for the present, so as they were only near to their office, for the purpose of frequent communication on matters of business between him and their firm,) who had urged him, Mr Gammon, to tender the olive-branch, in the devout hope that it might be accepted, Tag-rag's excitement knew scarce any bounds; and he could almost have started into the shop, and given orders to his shopmen to sell every article, for the rest of the day, one and a half per cent under what they had been selling before! Mr Gammon wrote down Titmouse's direction, and assured Mr Tag-rag that a call from him would be gratefully received by Mr Titmouse. "There's no accounting for these things, Mr Tag-rag, is there?" said Mr Gammon, with an arch smile, as he prepared to depart-Tag-rag squeezing his hands with painful energy as Gammon bade him adieu, saying he should not be himself for the rest of the day, and bowing the aforesaid Mr Gammon down the shop with as profound an obsequiousness as if he had been the Duke of Wellington or the Lord High Chancellor. As soon as Gammon had got fairly into the street, and to a safe distance, he burst into little gentle paroxysms of laughter, every now and then, that lasted him till he had regained his office in Saffron Hill.

The motive so boldly and skilfully suggested by Gammon to Tag-rag, as the impelling Titmouse to seek a reconciliation with him, was greedily

entertained by Tag-rag. 'Tis certainly easy for a man to believe what he wishes to be true. Was it very improbable that Tag-rag, loving only one object on earth, (next to money, which indeed he really did love with the best and holiest energies of his nature,) namely, his daughter; and believing her to be possessed of qualities calculated to excite every one's love-should believe that she had inspired Titmouse with the passion of which he had just been hearing-a passion that was consuming him, that could not be quenched by even the gross and outrageous?but faugh! that Tag-rag shuddered to think of. He clapped his hat on his head, and started off to Titmouse's lodgings, and fortunately caught that gentleman just as he was going out to dinner.

If Tag-rag had been a keen observer, he could hardly have failed to discover aversion towards himself written in every feature and gesture of Titmouse; and also how difficult it was to be concealed. But his eagerness overbore every thing; and took Titmouse quite by storm. Before Tag-rag had done with him, he had obliterated every trace of resentment in his little friend's bosom. Thoroughly as Gammon thought he had prepared him for the encounter, armed him at all points-'twas of no avail. Tag-rag poured such a monstrous quantity of flummery down the gaping mouth and insatiate throat of the little animal, as at length produced its desired effect. Few can resist flattery, however coarsely administered; but for Titmouse, he felt the soft fluid deliciously insinuating itself into every crevice of his little nature, for which it seemed, indeed, to have a peculiar affinity; 'twas a balm, 'twas an opiate soothing his wounded pride, lubricating all his inner man; nay, flooding it, so as at length to extinguish entirely the very small glimmering spark of discernment which nature had lit in him. "To be forewarned, is to be forearmed," says the proverb; but it was not verified in the present instance. Titmouse would have dined at Satin Lodge on the very next Sunday, in accordance with the pressing invitations of Tag-rag, but that he happened to recollect having engaged himself to dine that evening with Mr Quirk, at his residence in Camberwell,—ALIBI HOUSE. As I have already intimated in a previous part of this history, that most

respectable old gentleman, Mr Quirk, with the shrewdness natural to him, and which had been quickened by his great experience, had soon seen through the ill-contrived and worse-concealed designs upon Titmouse of Mr Tagrag; and justly considered that the surest method of rendering them abortive would be to familiarize Titmouse with a superior style of things, such as were to be found at Alibi House and a more lovely and attractive object for his best affections in Miss Quirk Dora Quirk, the lustre of whose charms and accomplishments should instantly efface the image of that poor, feeble, vulgar creature, Miss Tag-rag; for such old Quirk knew her to be, though he had, in fact, never for a moment set eyes upon her. Mr Tag-rag looked rather blank at hearing of the grand party there was to be at Alibi House, and that Titmouse was to be introduced to the only daughter of Mr Quirk, and could not, for the life of him, abstain from dropping something, vague and indistinct to be sure, about "entrapping unsuspecting innocence," and "interested attentions," and other simi. lar expressions-all of which, however, were lost upon Titmouse. Tapping with an auctioneer's hammer on a block of granite, would make about as much impression upon it as hint, innuendo, or suggestion, upon a block head. So it was with Titmouse. He promised to dine at Satin Lodge on the Sunday after, with which poor Mr Tag-rag was obliged to depart content; having been unable to get Titmouse up to Clapham on either of the intervening evenings, on which, he told Mr Tag-rag, he was particularly engaged with an intimate friend -in fact, one of his solicitors; and Tag-rag left him, after shaking him by the hand with the utmost cordiality and energy. He instantly conceived a lively hatred of old Mr Quirk and his daughter, who seemed taking so unfair an advantage. However, what could be done? Many times during his interview, did he anxiously turn about in his mind the expediency of proffering to lend or give Titmouse a five-pound note, of which he had one or two in his pocket book; but no-'twas too much for human nature he could not bring himself to it; and quitted Titmouse as rich a man as he had entered his lodgings.

The gentleman to whom Titmouse alluded was in fact Mr Snap, who had early evinced a great partiality for him, and lost no opportunity of contributing to his enjoyment. He was a sharp-sighted person, and quickly detected many qualities in Titmouse kindred to his own. He sincerely commiserated Titmouse's situation, than which what could be more lonely and desolate? Was he to sit night after night, in the lengthening nights of autumn and winter, with not a soul to speak to, not a book to read, (that was at least interesting or worth reading ;) nothing, in short, to occupy his attention? "No," said Snap to himself; "I will do as I would be done by; I will come and draw him out of his dull hole; I will show him life-I will give him an early insight into the habits and practices of the great world, in which he is so soon to cut a leading figure! I will early familiarize him with the gayest and most exciting modes of London life!" The very first taste of this cup of pleasure, was exquisitely relished by Titmouse; and he felt a proportionate gratitude to him whose kind hand had first raised it to his lips. Scenes of which he had heretofore only heard and readafter which he had often sighed and yearned, were now opening daily be fore him, limited as were his means; and he felt perfectly happy. When Snap had finished the day's labours of the office, from which he was generally released about eight or nine o'clock in the evening, he would repair to his lodgings, and decorate himself for the evening's display; after which, either he would go to Titmouse, or Titmouse come to him, as might have been previously agreed upon between them; and then,

"The town was all before them, where to choose."

Sometimes they would, arm in arm, each with his cigar in his mouth, saunter for hours together along the leading streets and thoroughfares, making acute observations and deep reflections upon the ever-moving and motley scenes around them. Most frequently, however, they would repair, at halfprice, to the theatres, for Snap had the means of securing almost a constant supply of "orders" from the underlings of the theatres, and also in re spect to the Sunday Flash, with which Messrs Quirk and Gammon were con

66

panion was, he would whisper in a very significant tone and manner,"Devilish high chap!" From these places they would repair, not unfrequently, to certain other scenes of nightly London life, which, I thank God! the virtuous reader can form no notion of, though they are, strange to say, winked at, if not patronised by the police and magistracy, till the metropolis is choked with them. Thus would Snap and Titmouse pleasantly pass away their time till one, two, three, and often four o'clock in the morning; at which hours they would, with many yawns, skulk homeward through the deserted and silent streets, their clothes redolent of tobacco smoke, their sto machs overcharged, their heads often muddled, swimming, and throbbing with their multifarious potations having thus spent a "jolly night," and seen life." 'Twas thus that Snap greatly endeared himself to Titmouse, and secretly (for he enjoined upon Titmouse, as the condition of their continuance, strict secrecy on the subject of these nocturnal adventures) stole a march upon his older competitors for the good opinion of TitmouseMessrs Quirk, Tag-rag, and even the astute and experienced Gammon himself. Such doings as these required, however, as may easily be believed, some slight augmentations of the allowance made to Titmouse by Messrs Quirk and Gammon; and 'twas fortunate that Snap was in a condition, having a few hundreds at his command, to supply the necessities of Titmouse, receiving with a careless air, on the occasion of such advances, small slips of paper, by way of acknowledgments; some on stamped paper, others on unstamped paperpromissory-notes and I. Ó. U.'s. Inasmuch, however, as Snap was not always possessed of a stamp on the occasion of a sudden advance, and having asked the opinion of his pleader (a sharp fellow, who had been articled at the same time as himself to Messrs Quirk and Gammon) as to whether an instrument in this form

nected, and other newspapers. Ah, 'twas a glorious sight to see these two gentlemen saunter into a vacant box, conscious that the eyes of two-thirds of the house were fixed upon them in admiration, and conducting themselves accordingly-as swells of the first water! One such night counterbalanced, in Titmouse's estimation, a whole year of his previous obscurity and wretchedness! The theatre over, they would repair to some cloudy tavern, full of noise and smoke, and the glare of gas-light-redolent of the fragrant fumes of tobacco, spirits, and porter, intermingled with the tempting odours of smoking kidneys, mutton-chops, beef-steaks, oysters, stewed cheese, toasted cheese, Welsh rabbits; where those who are chained to the desk and the counter during the day, revel in the license of the hour, and eat, and drink, and smoke to the highest point either of excitement or stupefaction, and enter into all the slang of the day-of the turf, the ring, the cockpit, the theatres, and shake their sides at comic songs. To enter one of these places when the theatre was over, was a luxury indeed to Titmouse; figged out in his very uttermost best, with satin stock and double-breastpins; his glossy hat cock ed on one side of his head, his tight blue surtout, with the snowy handkerchief elegantly drooping out of the breast pocket; straw-coloured kid gloves, tight trowsers, and shining boots; his ebony silver-headed cane held carelessly under his arm: to walk into the middle of the room with a sort of haughty ease and indifference, or nonchalance; and after deliberately scanning, through his eyeglass, every box, with its occupants, at length drop into a vacant nook, and with a languid air summon the bustling waiter to receive his commands. The circumstance of his almost always accompanying Snap on these occasions, who was held in great awe by the waiters, to whom his professional celebrity was well known, (for there was scarce an interesting, a dreadful, or a nasty scene at any of the police-offices, in which Snap's name did not figure in newspapers as on behalf of the prisoner," got Titmouse almost an equal share of consideration, and aided the effect produced by his own com manding appearance. As for Snap, whenever he was asked who his com

the

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"I. O. U. so much-with interest," would be available without a stamp, and being informed that it was a very doubtful point, Snap ingeniously met the difficulty by quietly adding to the principal what might become due in respect of interest: e. g. if £5 were lent, the acknowledgment would stand

for £15-these little slips of paper being generally signed by Titmouse in moments of extreme exhilaration, when he never thought of scrutinizing any thing that his friend Snap would lay before him. For the honour of Snap, I must say that I hardly think he deliberately purposed to perpetrate the fraud which such a transaction appears to amount to; all he wanted was-so he satisfied himself at least to have it in his power to recover the full amount of principal really advanced, with interest, on one or other of these various securities, and hold the surplus as trustee for Titmouse. If, for instance, any unfortunate difference should hereafter arise between himself and Titmouse, and he should refuse to recognise his pecuniary obligations to Suap, the latter gentleman would be provided with short and easy proofs of his demands against him. Twas thus, I say, that Snap rendered himself indispensable to Titmouse, whom he bound to him by every tie of gratitude; so that, in short, they became sworn friends.

I will always say for Gammon, that he strenuously endeavoured, from whatever motive, to urge upon Titmouse the necessity of his acquiring, at all events, a smattering of the elements of useful education. Beyond an acquaintance with the petty operations of arithmetic requisite for countertransactions, I will venture to say that poor Titmouse had no serviceable knowledge of any kind: Mr Gammon repeatedly pressed him to put himself under competent teachers of the ordinary branches of education; but Titmouse as often evaded him, and at length flatly refused to do any thing of the kind. He promised, however, to read such books as Mr Gammon might recommend, who thereupon sent him several: but a book before Titmouse was much the same as a plate of saw-dust before a hungry man. Mr Gammon, himself a man of considerable acquirements, soon saw the true state of the case, and gave up his attempts in despair and disgust. Not that he ever suffered Titmouse to perceive the faintest indication of such feelings towards him; on the contrary, Gammon ever manifested the same bland and benignant demeanour, consulting his wishes in every thing, and striving to instil into him feelings of love, tempered by re

spect, as towards the most powerfulthe only real, disinterested friend he had: and, to a very great extent, he succeeded.

Titmouse spent several hours in preparing for an effective first appearance at the dinner-table at Alibi House. Since dining at Satin Lodge, he had considerably increased his wardrobe both in quantity and style. He now sported a pair of tight black trowsers, with pumps and gossamer silk stockings. He wore a crimson velvet waistcoat, with a bright blue satin under-waistcoat, a shirt-frill standing out somewhat fiercely at right angles with his breast, and a brown dress-coat cut in the extreme of the fashion, the long tails coming to a point just about the backs of his knees. His hair (its purple hue still pretty distinctly perceptible) wasdisposed with great elegance. He had discarded mustachios, but had a very promising imperial. The hair underneath his chin came out curling on each side of it, above his stock, like two little tufts or horns. Over his waistcoat he wore his mosaic-gold watch-guard, and a broad black watered riband, to which was attached his eyeglass-in fact, if he had dressed himself in order to sit to a miniature painter for his likeness, he could not have taken greater pains, or secured a more successful result. The only points about his appearance with which he was at all dissatisfied, were his hair -which was not yet the thing which he hoped in due time to see it-his thick red stumpy hands, and his round shoulders. The last matter gave him considerable concern, for he felt that it seriously interfered with a graceful carriage; and that the defect in his figure had been, after all, not in the least remedied by the prodigious pad ding of his coat. His protuberant eyes, very light hue, had an expres sion that entirely harmonized with that of his open mouth; and both together

of

quite independently of his dress, carriage, and demeanour (there is nothing like being candid)-gave you the image of a complete fool. Ha ving at length carefully adjusted his hat on his head, and drawn on his white kid gloves, he enveloped himself in a stylish cloak, with long black silk tassels, which had been lent to him by Snap; and about four o'clock, forth sallied Mr Titmouse, carefully picking

his way, in quest of the first coach that could convey him to Alibi House, or as near to it as might be. He soon found one, and, conscious that his appearance was far too splendid for an outside place, got inside. All the way along, his heart was in a little flutter of vanity, excitement, and expectation. He was going to be introduced to Miss Quirk-and probably, also, to several people of great consequence-as the heir-apparent to £10,000 a-year! Two very respectable female passengers, his companions all the way, he never once deigned to interchange a syllable with. Four or

Quirk's - Alibi

five times did he put his head out of the window, calling out, in a loud peremptory tone-" Mind, coachman Alibi House - .Mr House-Do you hear?" After which he would sink back into the seat with a magnificent air, as if he had not been used to give himself so much trouble. The coach at length stopped. “Hallibi Ouse, sir," said the coachman, in a most respectful tone-" this is Mr Quirk's, sir." Titmouse stepped out, dropped eighteenpence into the man's hand, and opening the gate, found himself in a straight and narrow gravel walk, of about twenty yards in length, with little obstinate-looking stunted shrubs on each side. generally known, among Mr Quirk's friends, by the name of the "Ropewalk." Titmouse might have entered before as fine-looking a house, but only to deliver a bundle of drapery or hosiery: never before had he entered such a one as a guest. It was, in fact, a fairsized house, at least treble that of Satin Lodge, and had a far more stylish appearance. When Titmouse

'Twas

pulled the bell, the door was quickly plucked open by a big footman, with showy shoulder-knot and a pair of splendid red plush breeches, who soon disposed of Titmouse's cloak and hat, and led the way to the drawingroom, before our friend, with a sudden palpitation of the heart, had had a moment's time even to run his hands through his hair.

"Your name, sir?" enquired the man, suddenly pausing-with his hand upon the handle of the door. "Mr Titmouse."

"I-beg your pardon, sir; what name?

Titmouse, clearing his throat, repeated his name,-open went the door,

NO. CCXCV. VOL. XLVII,

and-" Mr Ticklemouse," said the servant, very loudly and distinctlyushering in Titmouse; on whom the door was the next instant closed. He felt amazingly flustered-and he would have been still more so, if he could have been made aware of the titter which pervaded the fourteen or twenty people assembled in the room, occasioned by the droll misnomer of the servant, and the exquisitely ridiculous appearance of poor Titmouse. Mr Quirk, dressed in black, with knee breeches and silk stockings, immediately bustled up to him, shook him cordially by the hand, and led him up to the assembled guests. My daughter-Miss Quirk; Mrs Alderman Addlehead; Mrs Deputy Diddle-daddle; Mrs Alias, my sister;-Mr Alderman Addlehead; Mr Deputy Diddle-daddle; Mr Bluster; Mr Slang; Mr Hug; Mr Flaw; Mr Viper; Mr Ghastly; Mr Gammon you know." Miss Quirk was about four or five-and-twenty-a fat young lady, with flaxen hair curled formally all over head and down to her shoulders, so that she very much resembled one of those great wax dolls seen in bazars and shop windows, especially if looked at through a strong magnifying glass. Her complexion was beautifully fair; her eyes small; her face quite round and fat. From the die-away manner in which she moved her head, and the languid tone of her voice, it was obvious that she was a very sentimental young lady. She was dressed in white, and wore a massive gold chain-her fat arms being half-covered with long kid gloves. She was sitting on the sofa, from which she did not rise when Titmouse was introduced to her-and the moment after hid her face behind the album which had been lying on her knee, and which she had been showing to the ladies on each side of her; for, in fact, neither she nor any one else could, without the greatest difficulty, refrain from laughing at the monkeyfied appearance of Titmouse. The Alderman was a stout, stupid, little man-a fussy old prig-with small angry-looking black eyes, and a short red nose; as for his head, it seemed as though he had just smeared some sticky fluid over it, and then dipped it into a flour-tub, so thickly laden was it with powder. Mr Deputy Diddle-daddle was tall and thin, and serious and slow of speech, with the solemn composure of an undertaker.

2 V