THROUGH THE AGES, ROUND THE WORLD

THE COLLEGE MAN.

I WISH I WERE HOME

"IN A FRIENDLY SORT O' WAY'

BALLAST AND CARGO

82

84

86

88

REFLECTIONS

. 100

RAMBLES

ROUND THE CAMPUS

FABLE OF THE PECK MEASURE

Once upon a time there came to a university a freshman who had been valedictorian of his class and the "four" in the Farmburg "Four Hundred." His uncle was president of the Lincoln County National Bank and his father was a high mogul in charge of a farm that had gradually become inclosed within the city limits, to the financial and social advantage of the family.

After the first two weeks, our hero took a partial inventory and made a report on himself, by himself, to himself. He found that he had not been elected president of his class, that his freshman cap was hardly becoming to him, and that his profs seemed to think him as funny as a comic paper might be.

In fact, the profs had issued waivers on him soon after they called the roll for attendance. They found nobody at home, the wires disconnected and the receiver down. He was a talking machine without a point. Do you get our characterization correctly?

The only bid he received was one to appear at an exclusive get-apart meeting in the office of the dean of his college. We regret that we did not

2

THE PECK MEASURE

term the dean an executive officer.

One bet lost. which is a

It seems that the jury of his peers,new nickname for professors, had not recommended mercy when they gave their verdict.

The dean was in a hurry, so he did not waste his vocabulary. The syllabus of his remarks was that our hero might have the qualifications of a clerk, as far as first silent impressions were concerned, but that the college was overcrowded and that the second-hand book store was located nearby. Our hero admitted that his eyesight could fail, and strange to say,- it did. Farmburg now has an added citizen,- for our hero could vote, the family income has a bandaged appearance, the newspapers have a dependable source of police news, and the university has a former student who still wears his watchfob with ""18" on it. The moral: That you can seldom put a bushel in a peck measure.