Good Form and Letters cannot be answered in these columns sooner than two months from the time of their receipt. The BAZAR'S correspondence is too large to permit an earlier reply. Prompt answers by mail will be sent to correspondents who enclose a self-addressed stamped envelope in their letters All questions should contain the name and address of the sender, though not for publication. WESTMINSTER. I will answer your questions in their order. In formal visiting, even on Sunday, it is correct to leave cards when the hostess is not at home, or to send them in when she is at home. The same rules for visiting obtain for Sundays as for week-days, but formal visiting is not in vogue on Sundays except for business men who have no other time to make even their formal calls. offset a call. The only exception is that no invitation should be sent to a person in the same town on whom the hostess has never called at all. In such a case, the call must be made before the invitation is sent. These rules hold for every form of entertainment (except charitable affairs). Evening dress, without hats, is the rule for evening receptions. Such a reception returns all social obligations. Guests should call afterwards, but it is not strictly nec essary. BLUEHILL.-Yes, a Kaffeeklatsch will be delightful. Ask your friends to bring their thimbles and scissors with them and have a contest in sewing first-buttonholes made with the left hand; hems sewed with the eyes shut; seeing who can in a given time put the most squares in a patchwork quilt, etc. Have all the work handed in with names attached, and award prizes. Then have the coffee refreshments. Serve them from a table in the dining-room, prettily arranged with flowers, candles, little dishes of sweets and cakes. Serve hot coffee with cream, whipped and plain, and iced coffee in glasses with whipped cream; coffee-cake and pretzels, zwieback, apple-cake and any kind of German cakes and breads that you can make or buy. Have chocolate a feature of the confectionery, This always makes a novel and attractive little entertainment. You can give for prizes for the best workers books of German poems, A pictures of famous Germans or of famous German pictures or places, and baskets of chocolates. When a young woman is invited to attend the college festivities of a friend she is expected to pay her own expenses; the young man should not pay her travelling fares or her hotel bills. At a tea, whether one attends or not, a card is proper; it is left by the person attending the tea, and sent by one who is unable to attend the tea to reach the hostess on the day of the entertainment. At present it is the fashion for a widow to retain on her visiting-cards her husband's name; they read Mrs. Warren Smith, not Mrs. Mary Smith. If, however, she has a son with the same name she may be forced to put senior on the card if the address does not identify her. Yes, a lady should certainly ask permission to bring a friend to call unless she is on such very friendly terms with her hostess that it is unnecessary; but when there is any doubt about it, the permission should first be asked. She should send up the names when she makes the visit, or, what is better, send the visiting-cards. The visitor, who is acquainted with her hostess, should mention the friend's name at once. single woman may ask an old friend, a gentleman, to dine with her at her hotel without any impropriety under most circumstances, but if she is in any doubt about the propriety it is better to ask several friends together and make up a little dinner-party. In that case there is no danger of criticism. In escorting a lady, a gentleman usually leaves her at the entrance to her home, or, if she is at a hotel, it would be more courteous to go with her to the elevator so that she need not be forced to go alone through crowded corridors. At a tea the plates and napkins are usually handed by the waiter in his hand, not on a tray; when spoons are necessary, they are put on the plate or on the saucer of a cup and saucer when it is passed; the cups should, of course, be passed on a tray. Party calls are always en règle everywhere for any kind of an entertainment that demands them dinners, luncheons, weddings, receptions, etc. It is only after an informal tea that a call is not expected. It is a mere recognition of the hostess's hospitality. ARMY POST.-Any invitation is supposed to . KATRINA.-A bride's linen-household and table-should all be marked with the initials of her maiden name. A monogram is prettier than initials, but also much more trouble to embroider and much more expensive to have done. On the finest linen I would advise having a monogram; on the plainer pieces and those which will be most used have the initials. A. B. C.-In a private house, or where there is no crowd or confusion, a gentleman usually allows a lady whom he accompanies to ascend and descend a stairway before him; in a public place it is better for the gentleman to go first and make it easier for the lady by making way for her in a crowd or among strangers. CLARA. A wedding-gift must be acknowledged in the first person. It would be most unusual and rude to acknowledge it in the third person. Even if the bride has not time before her wedding to write a note of thanks, a near relative should do so; but the note must be written as soon as possible after the gift is received. Have Your Garments Made by Expert New York Tailors It is no longer necessary for the woman who desires to be faultlessly attired to visit New York City in order to obtain the newest fabrics and the latest styles. 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The art of making speeches at a dinner has to be learned if one is not already a master in it, and it is not easy; it is better to say a few words to the point in response to a health, for instance, than a long speech, unless the speech is sure to be amusing and of interest to the listeners. Nothing is better for dinner speeches than well-told little appropriate stories. Healths are usually drunk standing. The question of what wines to serve at a dinner in this country depends much upon circumstances. The regulation order is sherry with the soup, a Sauterne or Rhine wine with the fish and entrée; champagne with the roast and heavy courses, claret or Burgundy with the game; port with the dessert. But this is not an order always observed, and it is very much the fashion to serve only two or three wines. At a small dinner, sherry or Sauterne and champagne are the usual wines served, and, if it is not thought best to have champagne, a white wine and claret. The cordials are served with the coffee to the ladies in the drawing-room and to the gentlemen with their cigars. White wines, like Rhine wine and Sauterne, should be served thoroughly chilled, and champagne so chilled as to be frappé; red wines should be the temperature of the room and sherry and port the same; the red wines may be a little warmer than the last two. The wines are poured by the servants into the glasses; the glasses are not lifted from the table. All wines which are poured from a bottle are carried with a napkin pinned around the bottle. If whiskey is served, it should be poured into tall glasses and cracked ice and charged water served with it. If I have not told you all that you want to know, write to me again. MRS. B. B.-The housekeeper is expected to hire the cook and scullery-maid and be responsible for them, and to train the butler, footmen, maids, etc., in their respective duties when necessary. She orders the dinner (if the lady chooses); she gives out the stores, and the house linen is under her charge to mend and replenish; she must watch over the china and silver, and visit all the bedrooms every day to see if the maids have done their duty, and that writing-paper, ink, and pens are on the tables of the guest-rooms, and candles, matches, soap, towels, etc.. in place. She should be able to make fine desserts, and to do the mending, hemming of the towels, etc., for the family, with the assistance of an under maid. She watches the wine when it comes off the table, and prevents the servants from wasting or pilfering. She represents the mistress, and has supreme authority, receiving her orders directly from the mistress, while the other servants receive them usually from her alone (except the lady's maid and the master's valet, of course, as to their personal service). She wears no uniform, but usually dresses in black silk. She must be firm, methodical, exacting, and impartial. ALICIA. It is a pleasure to reply to so clear and well-written a letter as yours. 1. For an invitation to a home wedding which you cannot accept send a regret. A written reply is always best whether the invitation is written or engraved upon a sheet of notepaper. Use the form of the invitation in replying. If you accept, do it by note, and as soon as possible. 2. To a church-wedding invitation no reply is necessary if you go. If you do not expect to go, send your card by mail so that it will reach the bride's mother (or the person sending the invitation) the day of the wedding. Do not write anything upon the card. It is itself a regret. 3. If invited to wedding and reception, accept or decline by written note, using the form of the invitation, and do it as soon as possible. 4. The same rule holds for out-of-town invitations. 5. On receiving a wedding announcement and "at home" cards, nothing need be done, in one's own city, but to wait and call on the bride at the appointed time. If in another city, wait till the time mentioned in the "at home" cards, and then enclose your card to the bride and groom. 6. A wedding announcement requires no response whatever. 7. College invitations generally require no response. A special reception or tea, however, would fall under the rules given above for wedding receptions. R. C.-You can have the matron of honor head the procession. Then come the bridesmaids in pairs, then the maid of honor, then the bride and her sister, then the ushers in pairs. The maid of honor holds the bride's bouquet. The bridegroom and best man come in from one side. The best man goes out with the maid of honor. Your sister, after giving you away, steps back and sits in the front pew (if in church), or stands at one side if at home. Your ideas for the costumes are good. Have the veil end at the waist-line in front, or higher up, as you choose and as looks best with the arrangement you suggest. It is not necessary for the bride to pin on the ribbons or flowers for the ushers. Do not use both. A suitable menu would be bouillon, creamed lobster or cold salmon with sauce, chicken croquettes, chicken or sweetbread salad, ices and strawberries, coffee, or fruit punch. A bit of jewelry, such as a pin, a locket or a bracelet. is a suitable favor for the bridesmaids. GOOD FORM AND ENTERTAINMENT M. E. R.-You will have no trouble, I am sure, in making the stag dinner a great success and pleasure for every one. The invitations may be written on cards decorated with the picture of a stag, if you wish, or with little drawings of a table with only men around it, or pipes, etc. There is no especial way to issue invitations for a stag dinner otherwise. The dinner cards may be ornamented with boxes of cigars, beermugs, and other symbols of conviviality, or, what was recently the dinner card at a large stag dinner in New York, have a very good and large cigar at each cover with a small paper-doll maiden sitting on it, with the name of the guest written on her skirt-in this instance, little cardboard ballet-girls were the paper dolls, with short skirts made of crêpe paper, and the effect "took" immensely. Do not attempt an elaborate menu or too elaborate table service or decorations. For a man's dinner it is an amusing idea to have in the centre of the table a large punch-bowl with a wreath of greens around it. The host is supposed to ladle the punch into the punch-glasses for the guests whenever necessary. Around the bowl have candlesticks with shaded candles to give light, and little dishes of cakes and candies, olives, etc. This always makes an attractive table. If you do not wish to have punch, have the bowl filled with any drink you prefer a mixture of ginger ale and sarsaparilla is always good, or iced tea or coffee. Have the following menu: Sardines on toast with lemon; a clear soup, which, if the weather is very hot, may be served chilled in cups; cold fish with a mayonnaise sauce: roast beef with potatoes and spinach, or pease or string - beans; asparagus with a good sauce; a salad of all kinds of vegetables cut up and dressed with a French dressing, served with heated crackers and cheese; ice-cream or jelly with whipped cream and cake; candy; coffee. This will not be hard to prepare or serve, and a good many articles on the list may be prepared before the time of service to make it easier to manage. I am sure you will make a success of it, and I hope all will go smoothly, and that your husband will like the menu. GRADUATE. For one contest take a skein of cotton or woollen yarn, and roll it into a ball, tying on it at intervals tiny souvenirs, such as a thimble, a ring, an artificial flower, a penknife, a watch charm, a pencil, a college pin, a rabbit's foot, a pen-wiper-anything that will wind up without much trouble into the ball. Provide as many articles as you have guests, making one large ball, or several small ones, as you prefer. Seat your guests in a circle, and start the first one to unwinding till he or she comes to the first souvenir; he must at once begin with, "This reminds me," and relate a story or sing a song or give a quotation in some way associated with the souvenir, the thread with which he breaks off. Then the ball is tossed to the next person, or back or across the circle, and the next one must do the same thing. When they have all finished, the cleverest response may take a prize. Another good contest is prepared for by placing on a wall space or a table a group of photographs, woodcuts, etc. (cut from magazines or papers), of twenty noted men and women of to-day. of to-day. On another table or wall twenty pictures of famous buildings may be placed, and on another twenty well-known quotations, without the names of their authors. The one who guesses the greatest number of names correctly wins the prize. Another contest is the "traveller's tour." One guest is chosen to be the traveller and given a basket or bag. Each of the others is given a number of pieces of paper with the same letter on them-that is, one guest has twelve A's, another twelve B's, and so on. No two people have the same letter. The traveller goes around among the other players, asking for information as to the places where he is going. If right information is given, he takes one of the pieces of paper as a token of the obligation he is under to the giver, and he puts it into the bag. When he has made his tour, he empties his bag and sees who has given him the most bits of information, and that person becomes traveller in his turn. CRESCENT.-Ladies should rise when they are presented to other ladies, always to those who are older than they, and often when they are presented to gentlemen, although this is not an absolute rule. So much depends on on circumstances that it is hard to give a fixed rule. When the hostess is standing and several guests enter whom she wishes to introduce to other ladies in the room, it is better for them all to rise to be introduced; but if the hostess brings up a man to present to a lady, it is not always necessary for the lady to rise, and certainly not if she is an older woman and he a young man; if the hostess introduces a lady, unless the lady introduced is much younger, it is right for the person to whom the stranger is presented to rise. When guests are leaving, it is correct for those remaining to rise to say good-by, as a general thing, but where it is awkward to rise it is not necessary. Judge by what seems easiest and most natural for each occasion and you will generally be correct. BAR HARBOR.-Why not have on the wall a set of cards with woodcuts or magazine cuts of well-known nature students and writers about nature pasted on them, numbering each picture, and have the party guess out the list in, say, ten minutes, the one most nearly correct receiving a prize of some book on nature? Gilbert White, Wordsworth, Burroughs, Torrey, Mrs. Wright, Linnæus, Bryant, Arnold, Agassiz, Seton - Thompson, Hamilton Hamilton Gibson - you can easily get twenty together, each of whom has some relation to nature-study. Serve each guest a tiny picnic basket with some sandwiches and cake in it, and serve lemonade from a pail banked with ferns in a corner of the room. |