ACT III
Sc. I

To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale,1
Seize thee that list: if once I find thee ranging,
Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.

[exit.

SCENE II. The Same. Before BAPTISTA'S House.

Enter BAPTISTA, TRANIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA,
LUCENTIO, and others, Attendants.

BAP. [to TRANIO.] Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed
day

That Katharine and Petruchio should be married,

And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.

What will be said? what mockery will it be,

To want the bridegroom when the priest attends

To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!

What says Lucentio to this shame of our's ?
KATH. No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forc'd
To give my hand oppos'd against my heart
Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen,

Who woo'd in haste, and means to wed at leisure.

I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,

Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour :
And, to be noted for a merry man,
He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
Now must the world point at poor Katharine,
And say Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
If it would please him come and marry her!
TRA. Patience, good Katharine, and Baptista too.
Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
Whatever fortune stays him from his word :
Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.
KATH. Would Katharine had never seen him though!

10

20

[exit weeping.

BAP. Go, Girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;
Such injury would vex a very Saint,
Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

Enter BIONDELLO.

BION. Master, Master! news, old1 news, and such news

as you never heard of!

31

BAP. Is it new and old too? how may that be?

BION. Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming?
BAP. Is he come?

BION. Why, no, Sir.

BAP. What then?

BION. He is coming.

BAP. When will he be here?

BION. When he stands where I am, and sees you there.
TRA. But say, what to thine old news?

40

BION. Why, Petruchio is coming, in a new hat and an old jerkin; a pair of old breeches thrice turn'd; a pair of boots that have been candle - cases, one buckled, another lac'd; an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town - armoury, with a broken hilt, and chapeless;2 with two broken points: his horse hipp'd with an old mothy saddle, and stirrups of no kindred; besides, possess'd with the glanders, and like to mose* in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of windgalls, sped with spavins, ray'd with the yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoil'd with the staggers, begnawn with the bots; sway'd in the back, and shoulder-shotten; near-legg'd before, 10 and with a half-cheek'd11 bit, and a headstall of sheep's leather, which, being restrain'd to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst, and now repair'd with knots; one girth six times piec'd, and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there piec'd with packthread.

BAP. Who comes with him?

60

BION. O, Sir, his lackey, for all the world caparison'd like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg, and a kersey boot-hose on the other, garter'd with a red

...

1 (slang) 'tip-top.' 2 no tip to the scabbard.
3 tagged laces between doublet and hose.
+ stable slang for 'mourn.' 5 Fr. 'mortdeschyon
the death of the back'; 'a disease
akin to glanders.' 6 stable slang for 'farcy.' 7 id. for 'vives' an inflammation of
the parotid glands. 8 strained. 9 heavy-shouldered. 10 'narrow in front.'

one cheek only; or (2) with one, or both, cheeks broken.

III: F

12 velvet.

11 (1) with

41

ACT III
Sc. II

ACT III
Sc. II

and blue list; an old hat, and The Humour of Forty
Fancies prick'd in't for a feather: a monster, a very
monster in apparel; and not like a Christian footboy
or a gentleman's lackey.

TRA. 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell'd.
BAP. I am glad he is come, howsoe'er he comes.

BION. Why, Sir, he comes not.

70

BAP.

Didst thou not say he comes ?

BION. Who? that Petruchio came?

BAP.

Ay; that Petruchio came.

BION. No, Sir; I say his horse comes, with him on his back.

Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.

PET. Come, where be these gallants here? who's at home?

PET. Tut! were it better, I should rush in thus.

But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride ?
How does my Father? Gentles, methinks you frown :

And wherefore gaze this goodly company

91

As if they saw some wondrous monument,
Some comet or unusual prodigy ?

BAP. Why, Sir, you know this is your wedding-day :

First were we sad, fearing you would not come;

Now sadder that you come so unprovided.

Fie! doff this habit, shame to your estate,
An eye-sore to our solemn festival!

TRA. And tell us, what occasion of import

Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife,
And sent you hither so unlike yourself?

100

PET. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,
Though in some part enforced to digress1
Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse;
As you shall be well satisfied withal.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her :
The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.
TRA. See not your bride in these unreverent robes :
Go to my chamber; put on clothes of mine.
PET. Not I, believe me: thus I'll visit her.
BAP. But thus I trust you will not marry her.

110

PET. Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with
words:

To me she's married, not unto my clothes.
Could I repair what she will wear in me
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
Twere well for Kate, and better for myself.
But what a fool am I to chat with you,
When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

TRA. He hath some meaning in his mad attire :
We will persuade him, be it possible,

[exit.

121

ACT III
Sc. II

To put on better ere he go to church.

BAP. I'll after him, and see the event of this.

[exit. Manent TRANIO and LUCENTIO.

TRA. Sir, to her love concerneth us to add

Her father's liking: which to bring to pass,

As I before imparted to your Worship,
I am to get a man (whate'er he be,

It skills not much, we'll fit him to our turn)
And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;
And make assurance here in Padua
Of greater sums than I have promised.
So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
Luc. Were it not that my fellow-schoolmaster
Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly,

Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;

Which once perform'd, let all the world say No,
I'll keep mine own, despite of all the world.

130

ACT III TRA. That by degrees we mean to look into,
Sc. II
And watch our vantage in this business :
We'll over-reach the graybeard, Gremio,
The narrow1-prying father, Minola,
The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
All for my master's sake, Lucentio.

Enter GREMIO.

140

Signior Gremio, came you from the Church ?
GRE. As willingly as e'er I came from school.
TRA. And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
GRE. A bridegroom say you? 'tis a groom indeed,
A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

150

TRA. Curster than she? why, 'tis impossible.
GRE. Why, he's a Devil, a Devil, a very Fiend.
TRA. Why, she's a Devil, a Devil, the Devil's dam.
GRE. Tut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him!

I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
Should ask if Katharine should be his wife,
Ay, by gogs-wouns, quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book;

And, as he stoop'd again to take it up,

The mad-brain bridegroom took him such a cuff,
That down fell priest and book, and book and priest :

Now take them up, quoth he, if any list!

TRA. What said the wench when he rose up again?

160

GRE. Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd and

swore,

As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

But, after many ceremonies done,

He calls for wine: A health! quoth he; as if

He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
After a storm; quaff'd off the muscadel,

And threw the sops all in the sexton's face;
Having no other reason

But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,
And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.
This done, he took the bride about the neck,
And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack
That, at the parting, all the Church did echo :

170