In a city in western Pennsylvania a certain college was undergoing repairs during the summer vacation. A colored man named Billy, employed to do odd jobs for the workmen, was sent to get some pieces of lumber which were in the main building. He returned shortly without them, saying, "Can't find 'em." "Did you look in the building ?" said the carpenter. Billy had looked in, and had seen the megatherium skeleton. "You ketch me gwine into dat college whar dem bones is! Dat 'fesser 'd jes as lief insect a cullud man as not." It is said that the trout are "rising" very freely in Mooselucmeguntic Lake this season. They evidently prefer to die in a frying-pan than live in a lake with such a name. An exchange tells of a woman fifty years of age who fell out of a tree and severely injured herself. As this exchange fails to inform us how the wo man got into the tree, we are inclined to doubt the accuracy of the story. A western town is proud of a farmer named Timothy Hay. Why would a blacksmith not be likely to make a successful business man ?-Because he always has so many irons in the fire. OUR SERVANTS. MISTRESS. "NORA, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU WEAR THIS CAP." NORA O'DOWD. "A CAP IS IT? A CAP YOU'RE WANTIN' ME TO WEAR? ONE UV THIM THINGS LOIKE A DOILY SHTUCK ON THE TOP UV ME HEAD! SURE THE NIXT THING YOU'D BE AXIN' ME TO BE COACHMAN FOR THE BABY; I'D AS LAVE BE DRIVIN' A PIG TO THE MARKET WID A ROPE TO HIS LEG AS DO THE LOIKES O' THAT." CALCULATING ROMEOS. Nwho makes a show for a few years that he may marry an TOTHING can be more contemptible than the life of a man heiress. He lives a purely selfish existence; he is a mere cumber- must be seen at every tea, ball, reception; he must give an occasional theatre party; he must know how to be mean, and snub all the people who have been civil to him, only inviting those of the highest fashion who have snubbed him; he must be a pure and perfect snob. He will then be spoken of as a young man of the highest fashion and of excellent manners. He must have that air of coldblooded ingratitude which none but real snobs know, and a perfect blindness in seeing his friends of the past; he must do the opulent bachelor business for a while, and adopt the languid crutch and toothpick style; he must fill his rooms with bric-à-brac and Eastlake furniture, and give very recherché little suppers. But if he wants an heiress who knows the value of her money he must not appear fast or dissipated; he should at least seem very respectable. The marriage money market is most vigorous in large cities, where an heiress rarely gets through her first winter. The pursuit is sometimes disgusting, but the "end justifies the means": such at least is the worldly maxim. But even in this support their wives handsomely. If marriage becomes a stock- money. Some heiresses, however, marry good men of real character, who determine to repay the money obligation by a life of devotion. These matches are often very happy ones. Rich people of both sexes have hearts, and often make good marriages and are very happy. But when heiresses marry calculating Romeos, who use their SUMMER TOILETTES. Fig. 1.-CRÊPELINE COSTUME. -FRONT.-[For Back, see Page 525.] The etiquette of such a marriage is as formal and as studied as that of any other recognized institution. If a man marries a woman for her money, he should never let her suspect it; he should be studiously attentive and kind. Indeed, much could be urged in the way of every-day politeness upon even loving husbands who TEN CENTS A COPY. WITH A SUPPLEMENT. more handsome in the full-blooded, high-mettled racer that depends on his own speed and strength than in the fat, sleek, lazy coach-horse that is fed and pampered. The contrast is disadvantageous and humiliating. There is no such admiration felt by mankind for the man who is simply fortunate as for him who deserves fortune. Money is a very good thing to have if it is not the only attraction. There should always be a shot in the locker-a wise provision against prolonged illness, against children's nee ds, their education and clothing. Well-bred poor married people suffer untold tortures in not being able to educate their children according to their rank in life. It is not strange that parents who have felt the evils of poverty Fig. 2.-BORDERED CHALLI DRESS.-FRONT.-[For Back, see Page 525.] wife's money for their own pleasure, and neglect and insult the The people who, as in Europe, marry their children to each other are anxious that their children should make rich marriages. There is no want so perceptible to maturity as that of money; it is in its way everything; but parents who have married for love should not ignore or forget their own early happiness, nor the strong attraction which brought them together. Although there is much to urge against a marriage for money, on the other hand, much can be urged against an improvident marriage for women who have been gently reared. Knowing how much they need luxury, many worldly women determine to marry for money, and become perfect robber baronesses, sallying forth from their castles armed to destroy. Such women never love deeply or passionately. They are social chameleons, taking the color of the times. They are full of subserviency to those high in place and power. Such a woman plays her part in fortune's pageant, and plays it well; but woe unto the child that is born unto her! She pre fers her little dog. Some of these worldly women who enter into the money market are butchers in disguise; they are Neros, Caligulas. They show ferocity toward their rivals, egotism and selfishness toward the men whose money they are spending. They are like the tigress that eats her victim while still alive. A woman of this character will flirt, and get a divorce, while her husband will suffer his wrongs in silence. Such is the wrong side of the tapestry. No wonder that the consideration of such crimes has driven many an heiress out of society, and many a woman who is afraid of her temptations! She may see a friend of her youth who has made a rich marriage, and what good or happiness has come to her? She has very handsome clothes and a handsome house, high-stepping bays and fine carriages, but her husband will not put five dollars in her purse. He treats her meanly, and says women do not understand the value of money-they give it away, they spend it foolishly-not considering that many women in the world are providing all the money that the husband spends. One would think that the calculating Romeo would dislike to go to his wife for money. "Please, dear Juliet, to give me a ducat," does not sound very heroic. A man, however, often spends his wife's fortune heroically, and calls it his. She ought to be grateful, he says, if he does not spend it on her rivals. While it is degrading to see a man marry for money simply, it |