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An' Livistone, the bauld Sir Willie;"
An' mony ithers,

Whom auld Demosthenes or Tully

Might own for brithers.

See, sodger Hugh,10 my watchman stented,

If poets e'er are represented;

I ken if that your sword were wanted,
Ye'd lend a hand;

But when there's ought to say anent it,
Ye're at a stand.

Arouse, my boys! exert your mettle,
To get auld Scotland back her kettle;
Or faith! I'll wad my new pleugh-pettle,
Ye'll see't or lang,

She'll teach you, wi' a reekin whittle,

Anither sang.

This while she's been in crankous mood,
Her lost Militia fir'd her bluid;

(Deil na they never mair do guid,

Play'd her that pliskie!)

An' now she's like to rin red-wud
About her whisky.

An' Lord! if ance they pit her till't,
Her tartan petticoat she'll kilt,
An' durk an' pistol at her belt,

She'll tak the streets,

An' rin her whittle to the hilt,

I' the first she meets!

For God sake, sirs! then speak her fair,

An' straik her cannie wi' the hair,

An' to the muckle house repair,

Wi' instant speed,

An' strive, wi' a' your wit an' lear,

To get remead.

9 Sir Wm. Augustus Cunningham, Baronet, of Livingstone.

10 Col. Hugh Montgomery, afterward Earl of Eglinton.

Yon ill-tongu'd tinkler, Charlie Fox,
May taunt you wi' his jeers and mocks;
But gie him't het, my hearty cocks!

E'en cowe the cadie!

An' send him to his dicing box

An' sportin' lady.

Tell yon guid bluid o' auld Boconnock's,"
I'll be his debt twa mashlum bonnocks,

An' drink his health in auld Nance Tinnock's12
Nine times a-week,

If he some scheme, like tea an' winnocks,

Wad kindly seek.

Could he some commutation broach,
I'll pledge my aith in guid braid Scotch,
He needna fear their foul reproach

Nor erudition,

Yon mixtie-maxtie, queer hotch-potch,

The Coalition.

Auld Scotland has a raucle tongue;
She's just a devil wi' a rung;

An' if she promise auld or young

To tak their part,

Tho' by the neck she should be strung,
She'll no desert.

And now, ye chosen Five-and-Forty,
May still your mither's heart support ye;
Then, tho' a minister grow dorty,

An' kick your place,

Ye'll snap your fingers, poor an' hearty,
Before his face.

God bless your Honours, a' your days,
Wi' sowps o' kail and brats o' claise,

11 Pitt, whose grandfather was of Boconnock in Cornwall.

12 A worthy old hostess of the author's in Mauchline, where he sometimes studies politics over a glass of gude auld Scotch Drink.—R. B.

In spite o' a' the thievish kaes,

That haunt St. Jamie's!

Your humble poet sings an' prays,

While Rab his name is.

POSTSCRIPT

LET half-starv'd slaves in warmer skies
See future wines, rich-clust'ring, rise;
Their lot auld Scotland ne'er envies,

But, blythe and frisky,

She eyes her freeborn, martial boys

Tak aff their whisky.

What tho' their Phoebus kinder warms, While fragrance blooms and beauty charms, When wretches range, in famish'd swarms, The scented groves;

Or, hounded forth, dishonour arms

In hungry droves!

Their gun's a burden on their shouther;
They downa bide the stink o' powther;
Their bauldest thought's a hank'ring swither
To stan' or rin,

Till skelp-a shot-they're aff, a' throw'ther,
To save their skin.

But bring a Scotchman frae his hill,
Clap in his cheek a Highland gill,

Say, such is royal George's will,

An' there's the foe!

He has nae thought but how to kill

Twa at a blow.

Nae cauld, faint-hearted doubtings tease him;
Death comes, wi' fearless eye he sees him;
Wi' bluidy hand a welcome gies him;
An' when he fa's,

His latest draught o' breathin lea'es him

In faint huzzas.

Sages their solemn een may steek,
An' raise a philosophic reek,

An' physically causes seek,

In clime an' season;

But tell me whisky's name in Greek,
I'll tell the reason.

Scotland, my auld, respected mither!
Tho' whiles ye moistify your leather,
Till, whare ye sit on craps o' heather,
Ye tine your dam;

Freedom an' whisky gang thegither!

Take aff your dram!

THE ORDINATION

For sense, they little owe to frugal Heav'n-
To please the mob, they hide the little giv'n.

KILMARNOCK Wabsters, fidge an' claw,
An' pour your creeshie nations;
An' ye wha leather rax an' draw,
Of a' denominations;

Swith to the Laigh Kirk, ane an' a'
An' there tak up your stations;

Then aff to Begbie's in a raw,

An' pour divine libations.

For joy this day.

Curst Common-sense, that imp o' hell,
Cam in wi' Maggie Lauder;1
But Oliphant2 aft made her yell,
An' Russell' sair misca'd her:
This day Mackinlay1 taks the flail,
An' he's the boy will blaud her!
He'll clap a shangan on her tail,

An' set the bairns to daud her

Wi' dirt this day.

Alluding to a scoffing ballad which was made on the admission of the late

reverend and worthy Mr. Lindsay to the "Laigh Kirk.”—R. B.

2 Rev. James Oliphant, minister of Chapel of Ease, Kilmarnock.

3

Rev. John Russell of Kilmarnock. 4 Rev. James Mackinlay.

Mak haste an' turn King David owre,
And lilt wi' holy clangor;

O' double verse come gie us four,
An' skirl up the Bangor:

This day the kirk kicks up a stoure;
Nae mair the knaves shall wrang her,
For Heresy is in her pow'r,

And gloriously she'll whang her

Wi' pith this day.

Come, let a proper text be read,
An' touch it aff wi' vigour,
How graceless Ham3 leugh at his dad,
Which made Canaan a nigger;
Or Phineas drove the murdering blade,
Wi' whore-abhorring rigour;

Or Zipporah,' the scauldin jad,

Was like a bluidy tiger

I' th' inn that day.

There, try his mettle on the creed,
An' bind him down wi' caution,
That stipend is a carnal weed
He taks but for the fashion;
And gie him o'er the flock, to feed,
And punish each transgression;
Especial, rams that cross the breed,
Gie them sufficient threshin;

Spare them nae day.

Now, auld Kilmarnock, cock thy tail,

An' toss thy horns fu' canty;

Nae mair thou'lt rowt out-owre the dale,
Because thy pasture's scanty;

For lapfu's large o' gospel kail
Shall fill thy crib in plenty,

An' runts o' grace the pick an' wale,

No gi'en by way o' dainty,

But ilka day.

5 Genesis ix. 22.-R. B. 6 Numbers xxv. 8.-R. B. 7 Exodus iv. 52.—R. B.

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