We have hitherto spoken of benevolence only as a general principle of kindness and good-will, but the same principles will, under some circumstances, and towards some individuals, kindle into the strongest and most fervent affection. Of this nature are love and friendship, whose names are daily usurped by feelings utterly unworthy of them. The influence of these affections on character and happiness is so great, that it is of the first importance that we should learn to distinguish them from their counterfeits, and yet on no subject do the young receive so little information or guidance. A young girl is allowed to form intimacies with those of her own age, and to call them by the sacred name of friendship. Love is never mentioned be fore her, and she is left to form her ideas of one of the strong. est of human passions, and that which will perhaps most influ ence her own fate, from novels and romances, eked out by her own enthusiastic imagination. Yet upon the right notions she forms of love depend much of the dignity and purity of her character, and her happiness for years, perhaps for life. Every attentive observer of women will acknowledge how great is the influence for good of a true and well-placed affection; and how much false ideas on the subject of love and marriage tend to lower, and even to demoralize, their minds. It is this conviction which induces us to digress from our general subject, in order to offer the following remarks on the characters of real friend ship and real love, and on marriage as it too often is, and as it ought to be.

No feeling deserves the name of friendship which is not based upon mutual esteem, and agreement in the great princi ples of conduct, and the general tone of mind. Friendship cannot exist between the high-minded and the base, between the earnest and the frivolous. A great deal of affection may frequently be found between such dissimilar characters, — but mere affection is not friendship. Friendship requires perfect confidence, and the strong sympathy which can spring up only between congenial minds. We do not mean the confidence which consists in revealing family secrefs, or pouring into another's ear all the vain or silly thoughts and hopes that we

ought to be ashamed to confess even to ourselves, nor sympathy in the delights of a ball-room, or the vicissitudes of a flirtation; but confidence in each other's integrity of character and lasting affection, and sympathy in real feeling, in the serious pursuits and objects of life, in the thoughts and speculations which naturally spring up in reflecting minds.

We are inclined to think that it is only reflecting minds that are capable of real friendship.

"L'homme qui pense, est seul un veritable ami."

GRESSET, Sidnei.

It depends so much upon community of principle and thought, that it can scarcely exist between those who act from habit, rather than from principle, and never think of any thing below the surface of existence. Circumstances may, by throwing people of this character together, induce a good deal of affection between them; but if those circumstances alter, if new ties or a change of residence separate them from each other, the supposed friendship rapidly evaporates, and at the end of a few years they will meet again as strangers in every thing but the kind regard which is always felt for one we have once loved.

Between earnest and reflecting minds the case is far different. They are originally attracted towards each other by sympathy in principles and pursuits, not by the mere accident of neighborhood. The regard which first springs up from this source gradually increases as nearer acquaintance develops those qualities of heart and mind which inspire esteem and confidence, till regard kindles into warm and true friendship. No change of circumstances, no new ties, will loosen or dissolve this. The friends may be separated for years, sea and land may lie between them, but they can still rest with unhesitating confidence in each other's affection. Long interruption of intercourse may force it to lie dormant, but as soon as the intercourse is renewed, it will spring up again warm and vigorous as ever, cheering the decline of life with the same true sympathy which gave double zest to the joys of youth.

This is true friendship, and we are ready to allow that it is rare, rare as are all the best and most precious gifts of Providence, but not the less real or inestimable. Amongst women, especially, friendship is said to be very seldom found; and one cause of this may be the general frivolity of their habits and pursuits, which excludes that earnestness of thought and feeling, and steadiness of principle, on which alone, as we have shown, true friendship can be founded. Much discredit also has been thrown upon female friendships by the rash and silly intimacies which have been allowed to usurp the name. Between girls of sixteen and seventeen, similarity of tastes and habits, enthusiasm for the same novels, the same sermons, or the same partners, is immediately taken for the sympathy of congenial souls, and they swear an eternal friendship upon a three days' or perhaps three hours' acquaintance. Young women are often not much wiser, and the natural result is a rupture as abrupt as the intimacy. We are then told, with a sentimental air, that life is full of sorrow, that friends grow cold and strange; whilst, in reality, no particle of true feeling ever entered into the busi

ness.

More earnest minds and warmer hearts are, however, often really pained, and even injured, by these inconsiderate intimacies; and this pain might be spared them if they were shown in time what true friendship is, and the conditions on which it depends. They would not be misled by the ignis fatuus, if the pure and steady flame had once been revealed to them.

It is remarkable that in this country less stress is laid on the obligations of friendship than in most others. The tie even of distant relationship seems always considered as more binding then the claims of the oldest friend. Yet we cannot refer this to a greater warmth of family affection, since, notwithstanding our boasted love of home, the union between parent and child, brother and sister, is certainly less close than in France, Germany, or Italy. We admit the prior claims of such near relations as parents and children, brothers and sisters. Our own family is the section of human beings whose welfare is peculiarly committed to our charge, and it is in this view that St.

Paul says, "He that provideth not for his own is worse than an infidel." But after these, the claims of friendship assuredly have the preference over those of more distant relationship. A friend is the brother or sister of our choice, and the affinity of blood is replaced by moral affinities not less powerful.* Why, then, is every exertion made for a relation, however distant, considered natural and proper, whilst a slight sacrifice made for a friend, especially between female friends, is looked upon as the result of exaggerated sentiment rather than the fulfilment of a serious obligation?

Perhaps this would be otherwise if sounder notions of friendship generally prevailed. No one who has felt its power will deny that a feeling based on esteem and the best sympathies of our nature must exercise a valuable, influence on character. A friendship early formed tends to sober and concentrate the irregular feelings of youth by giving them a worthy object. The sympathy, counsel, and assistance of a friend strengthens the mind under difficulties, and gives additional zest to every pursuit; while the fear of proving ourselves unworthy of a friend's regard will even restrain us under temptations almost too strong for the sense of duty. As years wear on, the tie thus formed amidst the opening hopes and glowing joys of youth becomes more and more endeared to us, and is often the last and best treasure of age.

Parents often discourage their daughters from forming friendships, from a mistaken notion that the latter are injurious to family affection, and that where there are two or more sisters they are natural friends, and can require no more. As regards the beneficial effect on character, a friend has often more influence than a sister; for we cannot but feel that the affection of the former depends much more than family affection on our conduct, on the qualities we possess, and the efforts we make to deserve it. That character must be faulty indeed, and those errors of a dark stamp, which destroy natural ties. Even where real affection is lessened and respect is impossible, the force of

* We must refer the reader to Jeremy Taylor's beautiful little Essay on the "Measures and Offices of Friendship."

habit and the undefinable power of family sympathies can rarely be overcome, and the offices of love are still performed for an unworthy object, who, but for the accident of birth, would have been cast off. The feeling that the affection we prize depends on ourselves, on our real claims to it, is what makes a friend out of our own family so valuable. It strengthens character by raising self-respect. It must also be remembered that sisters are not, cannot always be friends. A right moral tone and tender feelings will always keep up a gentle, affectionate intercourse among those who are united by such close ties, and therefore, when sisters cannot live together, it is justly consid ered as a proof of deficient moral training; but this kind of intercourse is far from friendship, and the very intimacy into which they are forced, and their mutual dependence, only increases the difficulty where tastes and dispositions are uncongenial. It has happened, indeed, that Nature in her bounty has kindled two kindred minds in one home, that she has woven the ties of family, the charm of common association, of common interest, and of common affections, round two beings who, had they been born in different regions of the earth, must, on meeting, have felt the strongest spell of sympathy drawing them together. She has given similarity of tastes with similarity of position; she has bestowed on each those talents which most raise the admiration, and those qualities of the heart which most excite the love and reverence of the other, and then, indeed, a sisteris a friend, such as no other friend can be. Then confidence is most unreserved, advice most disinterested, sympathy most entire. Then the natural bond is strengthened by all the power of a chosen affection, and the affection hallowed by all that makes the ties of nature sacred and precious. But seldom indeed is Nature thus bountiful. Such a treasure is too rich, too beautiful, to be often lavished on earth, and in ordinary circumstances we must be grateful when those who are bound to us by ties so close and holy are such as we can love and esteem, while more congenial minds excite our friendship.*

* It is very common to hear men remark disparagingly on the want of