ACT II
Sc. III

PAGE, SHAL., and SLEN. Adieu, good Master Doctor.

[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.

CAIUS. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim ?1 said I well?

82

CAIUS. By gar, me dank you vor dat: by gar, I love you;
and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de
knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary toward
Anne Page; said I well?

CAIUS. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host. Let us wag then.

CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

[exeunt.

ACT III

SCENE I. A Field near Frogmore.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.

EVANS. I pray you now, good Master Slender's servingman, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you look'd for Master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

SIM. Marry, Sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

EVANS. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look

that way.

9

SIM. I will, Sir.

[Exit SIMPLE.

Evans. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and

trempling of mind!-I shall be glad, if he have deceiv'd me. How melancholies I am!-I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork.--'Pless my soul!

[sings.

To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals ;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.

To shallow

'Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing madrigals, —
When as I sat in Pabylon-
And a thousand vagrant posies.
To shallow rivers.-

i

Enter SIMPLE.

SIM. Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
EVANS. He's welcome :-

To shallow rivers, to whose falls

20

29

Heaven prosper the right!-What weapons is he?
SIM. No weapons, Sir. There comes my master, Master
Shallow, and another gentleman from Frogmore, over
the stile, this way.

EVANS. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in
your arms.

Enter PAGE, SHALLow, and SLENDER.

SHAL. How now, Master Parson? Good-morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

SLEN. [aside.] Ah, sweet Anne Page!

PAGE. 'Save you, good Sir Hugh!

40

EVANS. 'Pless you from His mercy sake, all of you.
SHAL. What! the sword and the Word! Do you study

them both, Master Parson ?

PAGE. And youthful still! in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?

EVANS. There is reasons and causes for it.

PAGE. We are come to you, to do a good office, Master
Parson.

EVANS. Fery well. What is it?

48

PAGE. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having receiv'd wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.

I: BB

177

ACT III
Sc. I

ACT III SHAL. I have liv'd fourscore years and upward: I never Sc. I heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning so wide of his own respect.

EVANS. What is he?

PAGE. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
renown'd French physician.

EVANS. Got's will, and His passion of my heart! I had
as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE. Why?

60

EVANS. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and
Galen-and he is a knave besides: a cowardly knave
as you would desires to be acquainted withal.

PAGE. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
SLEN. [aside.] O, sweet Anne Page!

SHAL. It appears so, by his weapons. Keep them asunder:
here comes Doctor Caius.

Enter Host, CAIUS, and RUGBY.

PAGE. Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHAL. So do you, good Master Doctor.

Host. Disarm them, and let them question.1 Let them
keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

71

CAIUS. I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?

EVANS. Pray you, use your patience in good time.

CAIUS. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack Dog, John
Ape.

EVANS. [aside to CAIUS.] Pray you, let us not be laugh-
ing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in
friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.
[aloud.] I will knog your urinals about your knave's
cogscomb for missing your meetings and appointments.
CAIUS. Diable! - Jack Rugby-mine Host de Jarteer-
have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not, at de
place I did appoint?

84

EVANS. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed: I'll be judgment by mine Host of the Garter.

Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer.

90

Am

CAIUS. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!
Host. Peace, I say; hear mine Host of the Garter.
I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machivel? Shall I
lose my Doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the
motions. Shall I lose my Parson? my Priest, my Sir
Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the no-
verbs. - Give me thy hand, Terrestrial; so. Give
me thy hand, Celestial; so. -Boys of Art, I have
deceiv'd you both: I have directed you to wrong
places. Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole,
and let burn'd sack be the issue. Come, lay their
swords to pawn. Follow me, Lads of Peace; follow,
follow, follow.
SHAL. Trust me,
follow.

a

102

mad host! Follow, gentlemen,

SLEN. [aside.] O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt SHAL., SLEN., PAGE, and Host. CAIUS. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

EVANS. This is well: he has made us his vlouting-stog. -I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall,1 scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of

the Garter.

112

CAIUS. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me
vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.
EVANS. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.

[exeunt.

ACT III
Sc. I

SCENE II. A Street in Windsor.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN.

MRS. PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

ROB. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.

MRS. PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy! Now, I see you'll be a courtier.

ACT III
Sc. II

Enter FORD.

FORD. Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

MRS. PAGE. Truly, Sir, to see your wife.
home?

Is she at

II

FORD. Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

MRS. PAGE. Be sure of that-two other husbands.

FORD. Where had you this pretty weather-cock?

MRS. PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is

MRS. PAGE. He, he: I can never hit on 's name.

There

is such a league between my goodman and he! - Is

your wife at home, indeed?

FORD. Indeed she is.

MRS. PAGE. By your leave, Sir! I am sick, till I see
her.
[Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN.

FORD. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he
any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of
them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile
as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score.1
He pieces-out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly
motion and advantage; and now she's going to my
wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear
this shower sing in the wind!-- And Falstaff's boy with
her! Good plots!-They are laid; and our revolted
wives share damnation together. Well: I will take
him; then torture my wife, pluck the borrow'd veil
of modesty from the so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge
Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to
these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry
aim. The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance
bids me search: there I shall find Falstaff. I shall

3

be rather prais'd for this than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there: I will go.