wife falling immediately into a dispute how the said bacon should be dressed, it was, by order of the judges, taken from him and hung up again in the hall, "I find but two couples in this first century that were successful: the first was a sea-captain and his wife, who since the day of their marriage had not seen one another until the day of the claim. The second was an honest pair in the neighbourhood; the husband was a man of plain good sense, and a peaceable temper; the woman was dumb." Alison, the wife of Stephen Freckle, brought her said husband along with her, and set forth the good conditions and behaviour of her consort, adding withal, that she doubted not but he was ready to attest the like of her, his wife; whereupon he, the said Stephen, shaking his head, she turned short No. 609.] WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1714. upon him, aud gave him a box on the ear. Philip de Waverland, having laid his hand upon the book, when the clause, "were I sole and she sole," was rehearsed, found a secret compunction rising in his mind, and stole it off again. Farrago libelli.-Juv. Sat. i. 86. ... The miscellaneous. subjects of my book. "MR. SPECTATOR, "Richard de Loveless, who was a courtier, and "I HAVE for some time desired to appear in your a very well-bred-man, being observed to hesitate at paper, and have therefore chosen a day to steal the words "after our marriage," was thereupon into the Spectator, when I take it for granted you required to explain himself. He replied, by talking will not have many spare minutes for speculations very largely of his exact complaisance while he was your own. As I was the other day walking with a lover; and alleged that he had not in the least an honest country gentleman, he very often was disobliged his wife for a year and a day before mar-expressing his astonishment to see the town so riage, which he hoped was the same thing. Rejected. "Joceline Jolly, Esq. making it appear, by unquestionable testimony, that he and his wife had preserved full and entire affection for the space of the first month, commonly called the honey-moon, he had, in consideration thereof, one rasher bestowed upon him.' of mightily crowded with doctors of divinity; upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all those gentlemen he saw in scarfs to be persons of that dignity; for that a young divine, after his first degree in the university, usually comes hither only to show himself; and on that occasion, is apt to think he is but half equipped with a gown and cassock for his public appearance, if he hath After this, says the record, many years passed not the additional ornament of a scarf of the first over before any demandant appeared at Whiche-magnitude to entitle him to the appellation of novre-hall; insomuch that one would have thought that the whole country were turned Jews, so little was their affection to the flitch of bacon. "The next couple enrolled had liked to have carried it, if one of the witnesses had not deposed, that dining on a Sunday with the demandant, whose wife had sat below the Squire's lady at church, she the said wife dropped some expressions, as if she thought her husband deserved to be knighted; to which he returned a passionate pish! The judges taking the premises into consideration, declared the aforesaid behaviour to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the wife, and anger in the husband. "It is recorded as a sufficient disqualification of a certain wife that, speaking of her husband, she said God forgive him.' Doctor from his landlady and the boy at Child's. Now since I know that this piece of garniture is looked upon as a mark of vanity or affectation, as it is made use of among some of the little spruce adventurers of the town, I should be glad if you would give it a place among those extravagances you have justly exposed in several of your papers, being very well assured that the main body of the clergy, both in the country and the universities, who are almost to a man untainted with it, would be very well pleased to see this venerable foppery well exposed. When my patron did me the honour to take me into his family (for I must own myself of this order), he was pleased to say he took me as a friend and companion: and whether he looked upon the scarf like the lace and shoulder-knot of a footman, as a badge of servitude and dependance, I do not know, but he was so kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own discretion; and, not having any just title to it from Omy degrees, I am content to be without the orna ment. The privileges of our nobility to keep a "The violent passion of one lady for her lapdog; certain number of chaplains are undisputed, though the turning away of the old housemaid by another; perhaps not one in ten of those reverend gentlemen a tavern bill torn by the wife, and a tailor's by the have any relation to the noble families their scarfs husband; a quarrel about the kissing crust; spoil-belong to: the right generally of creating all chaping of dinners, and coming in late of nights, are so lains, except the domestic (where there is one), many several articles which occasioned the repro- being nothing more than the perquisite of a steward's bation of some scores of demandants, whose names place, who, if he happens to outlive any considerable are recorded in the aforesaid register. number of his noble masters, shall probably at one and the same time have fifty chaplains, all in their proper accoutrements, of his own creation; though perhaps there hath been neither grace nor prayer said in the family since the introduction of the first "It is likewise remarkable, that a couple were rejected upon the deposition of one of their neighbours, that the lady had once told her husband, that it was her duty to obey to which he replied, my dear; you are never in the wrong!' “Without enumerating other particular persons, I shall content myself with observing that the sentence pronounced against one Gervase Poacher is, that he might have had bacon to his eggs, if he had not heretofore scolded his wife when they were over-boiled.' And the deposition against Dorothy Dolittle runs in these words, that she had so far usurped the dominion of the coal fire (the stirring whereof her husband claimed to himself) that by her good-will she never would suffer the poker out of her hand.' SPECTATOR-Nos. 87 & 88. coronet. "MR. SPECTATOR, "I am," &c. Calmly I shall resign my breath, cerning the strength of imagination. I can give you a list, upon the first notice, of a rational china cup, of an egg that walks upon two legs, and a quart-pot that sings like a nightingale. There is in my neighbourhood a very pretty prattling shoulder of veal, that squalls out at the sight of a knife. I HAVE often wondered that the Jews should con Then, as for natural antipathies, I know a general trive such a worthless greatness for the Deliseret officer who was never conquered but by a smothered whom they expected, as to dress him up in external rabbit; and a wife that domineers over her husband pomp and pageantry, and represent him to their by the help of a breast of mutton. A story that re-imagination as making havoc amongst his creatures, lates to myself on this subject may be thought not and actuated with the poor ambition of a Cæsar or unentertaining, especially when I assure you that it an Alexander, How much more illustrious doth he is literally true. I had long made love to a lady, in appear in his real character, when considered as the possession of whom I am now the happiest of the author of universal benevolence among men, as mankind, whose hand I should have gained with refining our passions, exalting our nature, giving us much difficulty without the assistance of a cat. You vast ideas of immortality, and teaching us a conmust know then that my most dangerous rival had tempt of that little showy grandeur wherein the so strong an aversion to this species, that he infal- Jews made the glory of their Messiah to consist! libly swooned away at the sight of that harmless creature. My friend Mrs. Lucy, her maid, having a greater respect for me and my purse than she had for my rival, always took care to pin the tail of a cat under the gown of her mistress, whenever she knew of his coming; which had such an effect, that every time he entered the room, he looked more like one of the figures in Mrs. Salmon's wax-work* than a desirable lover. In short, he grew sick of her company which the young lady taking notice of (who no more knew why than he did), she sent me a challenge to meet her in Lincoln's-inn-chapel, which I joyfully accepted; and have, amongst other pleasures, the satisfaction of being praised by her for my stratagem. "I am, &c. "From the Hoop. "TOM NIMBLE." "MR. SPECTATOR, "The virgins of Great Britain are very much obliged to you for putting them upon such tedious drudgeries in needle-work as were fit only for the Hilpas and the Nilpas that lived before the Flood. Here is a stir indeed with your histories in embroidery, your groves with shades of silk and streams of mohair! I would have you to know, that I hope to kill a hundred lovers before the best housewife in England can stitch out a battle; and do not fear but to provide boys and girls much faster than your disciples can embroider them. I love birds and beasts as well as you, but am content to fancy them when they are really made. What do you think of gilt leather for furniture? There is your pretty hangings for a chamber!t and, what is more, our own country is the only place in Europe where work of that kind is tolerably done. Without minding your musty lessons, I am this minute going to Paul's church-yard to bespeak a screen and a set of hangings; and am resolved to encourage the manufacture of my country. "Yours, "CLEORA." 66 Nothing," says Longinus, " can be great, the contempt of which is great." The possession of wealth and riches cannot give a man a title to greatness because it is looked upon as a greatness of mind to contemn these gifts of fortune, and to be above the desire of them. I have therefore been inclined to think that there are greater men who lie concealed among the species, than those who come out and draw upon themselves the eyes and admiration of mankind. Virgil would never have been heard of, had not his domestic misfortunes driven him out of his obscurity, and brought him to Rome. If we suppose that there are spirits, or angels, who look into the ways of men, as it is highly probable there are, both from reason and revelation, how different are the notions which they entertain of us, from those which we are apt to form of one another! Were they to give us in their catalogue of such worthies as are now living, how different would it be from that which any of our own species would draw up! We are dazzled with the splendour of titles, the ostentation of learning, the noise of victories; they, on the contrary, see the philosopher in the cottage, who possesses his soul in patience and thankfulness, under the pressures of what little minds call poverty and distress. They do not look for great men at the head of armies, or among the pomps of a court, but often find them out in shades and solitudes, in the private walks and by-paths of life. The evening's walk of a wise man is more illustrious in their sight than the march of a general at the head of a hundred thousand men. A contemplation on God's works; a voluntary act of justice to our own detri ment; a generous concern for the good of mankind; tears that are shed in silence for the misery of others; a private desire or resentment broken and subdued; in short, an unfeigned exercise of humility, or any other virtue, are such actions as are glorious in their sight, and denominate men great and reputable. The most famous among us are often looked upon with pity, with contempt, or with indignation; while those who are most obsente among their own species are regarded with love, with approbation, and esteem. The moral of the present speculation amounts to this: that we should not be led away by the cen sures and applauses of men, but consider the figure that every person will make at that time when "Wisdom shall be justified of her children," an nothing pass for great or illustrious which is not ornament and perfection to human nature. The story of Gyges, the rich Lydian monarch, Cowley's agreeable relation of this story shall close is day's speculation. Thus Aglaus (a man unknown to men, But the gods knew, and therefore lov'd him then), In a proud rage. Who can that Aglaus be? Who his high race does from the gods der ve? a memorable instance to our present purpose. The Providence, in a very short time, to alter my oracle, being asked by Gyges, who was the happiest miserable condition. A gentleman saw me, liked man, replied, Aglaüs. Gyges, who expected to have me, and married me. My parents were reconciled; heard himself named on this occasion, was much and I might be as happy in the change of my con. surprised, and very curious to know who this Aglais dition, as I was before miserable, but for some should be. After much inquiry, he was found to be things, that you shall know, which are insupportable an obscure countryman, who employed all his time to me; and I am sure you have so much honour in cultivating a garden, and a few acres of land and compassion as to let those persons know, in about his house. some of your papers, how much they are in the wrong. I have been married near five years, and do not know that in all that time I ever went abroad without my husband's leave and approbation. I am obliged, through the importunities of several of my relations, to go abroad oftener than suits my temper. Then it is I labour under insupportable agonies. That man, or rather monster, haunts every place I go to. Base villain! by reason I will not admit his nauseous wicked visits and appointments, he strives all the ways he can to ruin me. He left me destitute of friend or money, nor ever thought ine worth inquiring after, until he unfortunately hap pened to see me in a front box sparkling with jewels. Then his passion returned. Then the hypocrite pretended to be a penitent. Then he practised all those arts that helped before to undo me. I am not to be deceived a second time by him. I hate and abhor his odious passion; and as he plainly perceives it, either out of spite or diversion he makes it his business to expose me. I never fail seeing him in all public company, where he is always most industriously spiteful. He hath, in short, told all his acquaintance of our unhappy affair; they tell theirs; so that it is no secret among his companions, which are numerous. They to whom he tells it, think they have a title to be very familiar. If they bow to me, and I out of good manners return it, then I am pestered with freedoms that are no ways agreeable to myself or company. If I turn my eyes from them, or seem displeased, they sour upon it, and whisper the next person; he his next; until I have at last the eyes of the whole company upon me. Nay, they report abominable falsehoods, under that mistaken notion, She that will grant favours to one man will to a hundred.' I beg you I will let those who are guilty know how ungenerous this way of proceeding is. I am sure he will know himself the person aimed at, and perhaps put a stop to the insolence of others. Cursed is the fate of I AM willing to postpone every thing, to do any unhappy women! that men may boast and glory in the least service for the deserving and unfortunate. those things that we must think of with shame and Accordingly I have caused the following letter to horror! You have the art of making such odious be inserted in my paper the moment that it came customs appear detestable. For my sake, and, I am to my hands, without altering one tittle in an ac-sure, for the sake of several others who dare not count which the lady relates so handsomely herself. "MR. SPECTATOR, (Th' Arcadian life has always shady been). No. 611.] MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1714. "I flatter myself you will not only pity, but, if possible, redress a misfortune myself and several others of my sex lie under. I hope you will not be offended, nor think I mean by this to justify my own imprudent conduct, or expect you should. No: I am sensible how severely, in some of your former papers, you have reproved persons guilty of the like mismanagements. I was scarce sixteen, and I may say, without vanity, handsome, when courted by a Salse perjured man; who, upon promise of marriage, rendered me the most unhappy of women. After he had deluded me from my parents, who were people of very good fashion, in less than three months he left me. My parents would not see nor hear from me; and, had it not been for a servant who had lived in our family, I must certainly have perished for want of bread. However, it pleased own it, but, like me, lie under the same misfortunes, make it as infamous for a man to boast of favours, or expose our sex, as it is to take the lie or a box on the ear, and not resent it. "Your constant Reader and Admirer, "LESBIA. "P. S. I am the more impatient under this misfortune, having received fresh provocation, last Wednesday, in the Abbey." I entirely agree with the amiable and unfortunate Lesbia, that an insult upon a woman in her circumstances is as infamous in a man, as a tame behaviour when the lie or a buffet is given: which truth I shall beg leave of her to illustrate by the following observation. It is a mark of cowardice passively to forbear resenting an affront, the resenting of which would lead a man into danger: it is no less a sign of cowardice to affront a creature that hath not power to avenge itself. Whatever name, therefore, this ungenerous man may bestow on the helpless lady he hath injured, I shall not scruple to give him, in return for it, the appellation of coward. A man that can so far descend from his diguity as to strike a lady, can never recover his reputation with either sex, because no provocation is thought strong enough to justify such treatment from the powerful towards the weak. In the circumstances in which poor Lesbia is situated, she can appeal to no man whatsoever to avenge an insult more grievous than a blow. If she could open her mouth, the base man knows that a husband, a brother, a generous friend, would die to see her righted. A generous mind, however enraged against an enemy, feels its resentments sink and vanish away when the object of its wrath falls into its power. An estranged friend, filled with jealousy and discontent towards a bosom acquaintance, is apt to overflow with tenderness and remorse, when a creature that was once dear to him undergoes any misfortune. What name then shall we give to his ingratitude, who (forgetting the favours he solicited with eagerness, and received with rapture) can insult the miseries that he himself caused, and make sport with the pain to which he owes his greatest pleasure? There is but one being in the creation whose province it is to practise upon the imbecilities of frail creatures, and triumph in the woes which his own artifices brought about; and we well know those who follow his example will receive his reward. Leaving my fair correspondent to the direction of her own wisdom and modesty; and her enemy, and his mean accomplices, to the compunction of their own hearts; I shall conclude this paper with a memorable instance of revenge, taken by a Spanish lady upon a guilty lover, which may serve to show what violent effects are wrought by the most tender passion, when soured into hatred; and may deter the young and unwary from unlawful love. The story, however romantic it may appear, I have heard affirmed for a truth. Not many years ago an English gentleman, who, in a rencontre by night in the streets of Madrid, had the misfortune to kill his man, fled into a church-porch for sanctuary. Leaning against the door, he was surprised to find it open, and a glimmering light in the church. He had the courage to advance towards the light; but was terribly startled at the sight of a woman in white, who ascended from a grave with a bloody knife in her hand. The phantom marched up to him, and asked him what he did there. He told her the truth without reserve, believing that he had met with a ghost; upon which she spoke to him in the following manner: "Stranger, thou art in my power; I am a murderer as thou art. Know then that I am a nun of a noble family. A base perjured man undid me, and boasted of it. I soon had him dispatched; but not content with the murder, I have bribed the sexton to let me enter his grave, and have now plucked out his false heart from his body; and thus I use a traitor's heart." At these words she tore it in pieces and trampled it under her feet. Murranus, boasting of his blood, that springs From a long royal race of Latian kings, Is by the Trojan from his chariot thrown. Crush'd with the weight of an unwieldy stone--DRYDEN, Ir is highly laudable to pay respect to men who of gratitude to those who have done good to manare descended from worthy ancestors, not only out kind, but as it is an encouragement to others to follow their example. But this is an honour to be received, not demanded, by the descendants of great men: and they who are apt to remind us of their ancestors only put us upon making comparisons to for boasting of wit, beauty, strength, or wealth, betheir own disadvantage. There is some pretence cause the communication of them may give pleasure ought we to claim any respect, because our fathers or profit to others; but we can have no merit, nor acted well whether we would or no. The following letter ridicules the folly I have mentioned, in a new, and I think, not disagreeable light: "MR. SPECTATOR, "Were the genealogy of every family preserved, there would probably be no man valued or despised on account of his birth. There is scarce a beggar in the streets, who would not find himself lineally descended from some great man; nor any one of the highest title, who would not discover several base and indigent persons among his ancestors. It would be a pleasant entertainment to see one pedigree of men appear together, under the same characters they bore when they acted their respective parts among the living. Suppose, therefore, a gentleman, full of his illustrious family, should, in the same manner as Virgil makes Æneas look over his descendants, see the whole line of his progenitors pass in review before his eyes with how many varying passions would he behold shepherds and soldiers, statesmen and artificers, princes and beggars, walk in the procession of five thousand years! How would his heart sink or flutter at the several sports of fortune, in a scene so diversified with rags and purple, handicraft tools and sceptres, ensigns of dignity and emblems of disgrace! And how would his fears and apprehensions, his transports and mortifi cations, succeed one another, as the line of his ge nealogy appeared bright or obscure! "In most of the pedigrees hung up in old mansion-houses, you are sure to find the first in the catalogue a great statesman, or a soldier with an honourable commission. The honest artificer that begot him, and all his frugal ancestors before bim, are torn off from the top of the register; and you are not left to imagine that the noble founder of the family ever had a father Were we to trace many boasted lines further backwards, we should lose them in a mob of tradesmen, or a crowd of rustics, without hope of seeing them emerge again: not unlike the old Appian way, which, after having run many miles in length, loses itself in a bog. "I lately made a visit to an old country gentleman, who is very far gone in this sort of family madness. I found him in his study perusing an aid register of his family, which he had just then dis covered as it was branched out in the form of a tree, upon a skin of parchment. Having the honour to have some of his blood in my veins, No. 512.] WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1714. permitted me to cast my eye over the boughs of this venerable plant; and asked my advice in the reforming of some of the superfluous branches, "We passed slightly over three or four of our immediate forefathers, whom he knew by tradition, time for future speculations; pick up hints which I improve for the public good; give advice; redress grievances; and by leaving commodious spaces be tween the several letters that I print, furnish out a Spectator, with little labour and great ostentation. MR. SPECTATOR, but were soon stopped by an alderman of London, who I perceived made my kinsman's heart go pit-apat. His confusion increased when he found the alderman's father to be a grazier; but he recovered his fright upon seeing justice of the quorum at the end of his titles. Things went on pretty well as we threw our eyes frequently over the tree, when unfortunately he perceived a merchant-tailor perched "I was mightily pleased with your speculation of on a bough, who was said greatly to have increased Friday. Your sentiments are noble, and the whole the estate; he was just going to cut him off if he worked up in such a manner as cannot but strike had not seen gent. after the name of his son; who upon every reader. But give me leave to make this was recorded to have mortgaged one of the manors remark; that while you write so pathetically on his honest father had purchased. A weaver, who contentment, and a retired life, you soothe the pas was burnt for his religion in the reign of Queension of melancholy, and depress the mind from Mary, was pruned away without mercy; as was actions truly glorious. Titles and honours are the likewise a yoeman who died of a fall from his own reward of virtue; we therefore ought to be affected cart. But great was our triumph in one of the with them; and though light minds are too much blood who was beheaded for high-treason: which, puffed up with exterior pomp, yet I cannot see why nevertheless, was not a little allayed by another of it is not as truly philosophical to admire the glow our ancestors who was hanged for stealing sheep. ing ruby, or the sparkling green of an emerald, as The expectations of any good cousin were wonder- the fainter and less permanent beauties of a rose or fully raised by a match into the family of a knight; a myrtle. If there are men of extraordinary capabut unfortunately for us this branch proved barren: cities who lie concealed from the world, I should on the other hand, Margery the milk-maid, being impute it to them as a blot in their character, did twined round a bough, it flourished out into so many not I believe it owing to the meanness of their forshoots, and bent with so much fruit, that the old tune rather than of their spirit. Cowley, who tells gentleman was quite out of countenance. To com the story of Aglaüs with so much pleasure, was no fort me under this disgrace, he singled out a branch stranger to courts, nor insensible of praise. ten times more fruitful than the other, which he told me he valued more than any in the tree, and bade me be of good comfort. This enormous bough was a graft out of a Welsh heiress, with so many Aps upon it that it might have made a little grove by it self. From the trunk of the pedigree, which was chiefly composed of labourers and shepherds, arose a huge sprout of farmers: this was branched out into yeomen, and ended in a sheriff of the county, who was knighted for his good service to the crown in bringing up an address. Several of the names that seemed to disparage the family, being looked upon as mistakes, were lopped off as rotten or withered; as, on the contrary, no small number appearing without any titles, my cousin, to supply the defects of the manuscript, added esq. at the end of each of them. What shall I do to be for ever known, And make the age to come my own? was the result of a laudable ambition. It was not until after frequent disappointments that he termed himself the melancholy Cowley; and he praised solitude when he despaired of shining in a court. The soul of man is an active principle. He, therefore, who withdraws himself from the scene before he has played his part, ought to be hissed off the stage, and cannot be deemed virtuous, because he refuses to answer his end. I must own I am fired with an honest ambition to imitate every illustrious example. The battles of Blenheim and Ramilies have more than once made me wish myself a soldier And, when I have seen those actions so nobly celebrated by our poets, I have secretly aspired to be one of that distinguished class. But in vain I wish, "This tree, so pruned, dressed, and cultivated, in vain I pant with the desire of action. I am was, within a few days, transplanted into a large chained down in obscurity, and the only pleasure sheet of vellum, and placed in the great hall, where I can take is in seeing so many brighter geniuses it attracts the veneration of his tenants every Sun-join their friendly lights to add to the splendour of day morning, while they wait until his worship is the throne. Farewell, then, dear Spec., and beready to go to church; wondering that a man who lieve me to be with great emulation, and no envy, had so many fathers before him should not be made "Your professed Admirer, a knight, or at least a justice of the peace." "WILL HOPELESS." "SIR, Middle Temple, Oct. 16, 1714. No. 613.] FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1714. Though you formerly made eloquence the subject of one or more of your papers, I do not rememStadiis forentem ignobilis oti. ber that you ever considered it as possessed by a set VIRG. Georg. iv. 564. of people, who are so far from making Quintilian's Affecting studies of less noisy praise.-DRYDEN. rules their practice, that, I dare say for them, they It is reckoned a piece of ill-breeding for one man never heard of such an author, and yet are no less to engross the whole talk to himself. For this rea- masters of it than Tully or Demosthenes among the son, since I keep three visiting-days in the week, I ancients, or whom you please amongst the moderns. am content now and then to let my friends put in The persons I am speaking of are our common a word. There are several advantages hereby ac- beggars about this town; and, that what I say is eruing both to my readers and myself. As first, true, I appeal to any man who has a heart one young and modest writers have an opportunity of degree softer than a stone. As for my part, who getting into print; again, the town enjoys the plea- do not pretend to more humanity than my neighsure of variety; and posterity will see the humour bours, I have oftentimes gone from my chambers of the present age, by the help of these little lights with money in my pocket, and returned to them not into private and domestic life. The benefits I re-only pennyless, but destitute of a farthing, without ceive from thence are such as these: I gain more bestowing of it any other way than on these seem |