But now the L-'s ain trumpet touts, His piercin words, like Highlan' swords, His talk o' Hell, whare devils dwell, Wi' fright that day! A vast, unbottom'd, boundless pit, The half-asleep start up wi' fear, 'Twad be owre lang a tale to tell, An' cheese an' bread, frae women's laps, An' dawds that day. In comes a gawsie, gash guidwife, Syne draws her kebbuck an' her knife; The auld guidmen, about the grace, Till some ane by his bonnet lays, Fu' lang that day. Waesucks! for him that gets nae lass, On sic a day! Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin tow, Begins to jow an' croon; Some swagger hame the best they dow, Some wait the afternoon. At slaps the billies halt a blink, Till lasses strip their shoon: Wi' faith an' hope, an' love an' drink, They're a' in famous tune For crack that day. How mony hearts this day converts O' sinners and o' lasses! Their hearts o' stane, gin night, are gane As saft as ony flesh is: There's some are fou o' love divine; There's some are fou o' brandy; An' mony jobs that day begin, May end in houghmagandie THIRD EPISTLE TO J. LAPRAIK GUID speed and furder to you, Johnie, May ye ne'er want a stoup o' bran'y May Boreas never thresh your rigs, But may the tapmost grain that wags I'm bizzie, too, an' skelpin at it, An' took my jocteleg an whatt it, It's now twa month that I'm your debtor, For your braw, nameless, dateless letter, Abusin me for harsh ill-nature On holy men, While deil a hair yoursel' ye're better, But let the kirk-folk ring their bells, Your friendship, sir, I winna quat it, Then hand in neive some day we'll knot it, An' when wi' usquabae we've wat it It winna break. But if the beast an' branks be spar'd An' theekit right, I mean your ingle-side to guard Ae winter night. Then muse-inspirin aquavitæ Shall make us baith sae blythe and witty, An' be as canty As ye were nine years less than thretty- But stooks are cowpit wi' the blast, An' quat my chanter; Sae I subscribe mysel' in haste, Sept. 13, 1785. Yours, Rab the Ranter. EPISTLE TO THE REV. JOHN M'MATH INCLOSING A COPY OF HOLY WILLIE'S PRAYER," WHICH HE HAD REQUESTED, SEPT. 17, 1785 WHILE at the stook the shearers cow'r To shun the bitter blaudin show'r, Or in gulravage rinnin scowr To pass the time, To you I dedicate the hour In idle rhyme. My musie, tir'd wi' mony a sonnet On gown, an' ban', an' douse black bonnet, An' rouse their holy thunder on it I own 'twash rash, an' rather hardy, Can easy, wi' a single wordie, Lowse hell upon me. But I gae mad at their grimaces, Their three-mile prayers, an' half-mile graces, Whase greed, revenge, an' pride disgraces There's Gaw'n, misca'd waur than a beast, And may a bard no crack his jest What way they've us'd him? See him, the poor man's friend in need, An' shall his fame an' honour bleed An' not a muse erect her head To cowe the blellums? O Pope, had I thy satire's darts Their jugglin hocus-pocus arts To cheat the crowd. God knows, I'm no the thing I should be, Than under gospel colours hid be An honest man may like a glass, An' then cry zeal for gospel laws, |