habit of finding means accordingly. If I keep a good character for myself, I shall be rich enough.

Philolaches [apart] - By my troth, since selling there must be, my father shall be sold much sooner than, while I'm alive, I'll ever permit you to be in want or go a-begging.

Scapha What's to become of the rest of those who are in love with you?

Philematium - They'll love me the more when they see me displaying gratitude to one who has done me services.

Philolaches [apart] I do wish that news were brought me now that my father's dead, that I might disinherit myself of my property, and that she might be my heir.

Scapha-This property of his will certainly soon be at an end; day and night there's eating and drinking, and no one displays thriftiness; 'tis downright cramming.

Philolaches [apart]—I' faith, I'm determined to make trial on yourself for the first to be thrifty; for you shall neither eat nor drink anything at my house for the next ten days.

Philematium-If you choose to say anything good about him, you shall be at liberty to say it; if you speak otherwise than well, on my word you shall have a beating instantly. Philolaches [apart] Upon my faith, if I had paid sacrifice to supreme Jove with that money which I gave for her liberty, never could I have so well employed it. Do see how, from her very heart's core, she loves me! Oh, I'm a fortunate man; I've liberated a patron to plead my cause for me.

Scapha-I see that, compared with Philolaches, you disregard all other men; now, that on his account I mayn't get a beating, I'll agree with you in preference, if you are quite satisfied that he will always prove a friend to you.

Philematium - Give me the mirror, and the casket with my trinkets, directly, Scapha, that I may be quite dressed when Philolaches, my delight, comes here.

Scapha-A woman who neglects herself and her youthful age has occasion for a mirror: what need of a mirror have you, who yourself are in especial a mirror for a mirror?

Philolaches [apart] - For that expression, Scapha, that you mayn't have said anything so pretty in vain, I'll to-day give something for your savings-to you, my Philematium.

Philematium [while SCAPHA is dressing her hair] — Will you see that each hair is nicely arranged in its own place?

Scapha - When you are so nice, do believe that your hair

must be nice.

Philolaches [apart]-Out upon it! what worse thing can possibly be spoken of than this woman? Now the jade's a flatterer, just now she was all contradictory.

Philematium - Hand me the ceruse.

Scapha Why, what need of ceruse have you?
Philematium To paint my cheeks with it.

Scapha On the same principle, you would want to be making ivory white with ink.

Philolaches [apart] - Cleverly said that, about the ink and the ivory! Bravo! I applaud you, Scapha.

Philematium - Well, then, do you give me the rouge.

Scapha-I shan't give it. You really are a clever one. Do you wish to patch up a most clever piece with new daubing? It's not right that any paint should touch that person, neither ceruse, nor quince ointment, nor any other wash. Take the mirror, then. [Hands her the glass.]

Philolaches [apart] - Ah, wretched me! - she gave the glass a kiss. I could much wish for a stone, with which to break the head of that glass.

Scapha-Take the towel and wipe your hands.

Philematium- Why so, prithee?

Scapha As you've been holding the mirror, I'm afraid that your hands may smell of silver; lest Philolaches should suspect you've been receiving silver somewhere.

Philolaches [apart] I don't think that I ever did see any one more cunning. How cleverly and artfully did it occur to the jade's imagination about the mirror!

Philematium — Do you think I ought to be perfumed with unguents as well?

Scapha By no means do so.

Philematium - For what reason?

-

Scapha Because, i' faith, a woman smells best when she smells of nothing at all. For those old women who are in the habit of anointing themselves with unguents, vampt up, toothless old hags, who hide the blemishes of the person with paint, when the sweat has blended itself with the unguents, forthwith they stink just like when a cook has poured together a variety of broths; what they smell of you don't know, except this only,. that you understand that badly they do smell.

Philolaches [apart] - How very cleverly she does under

stand everything! There's nothing more knowing than this knowing woman! [To the AUDIENCE.] This is the truth, and in fact a very great portion of you know it, who have old women for wives at home who purchased you with their portions.

Philematium - Come now, examine my golden trinkets and my mantle; does this quite become me, Scapha?

Scapha-It befits not me to concern myself about that.
Philematium - Whom then, prithee?

Scapha- I'll tell you: Philolaches, so that he may not buy anything except that which he fancies will please you. For a lover buys the favors of a mistress for himself with gold and purple garments. What need is there for that which he doesn't want as his own, to be shown him still? Age is to be enveloped in purple; gold ornaments are unsuitable for a woman. A beautiful woman will be more beautiful naked than drest in purple. Besides, it's in vain she's well-drest if she's ill-conducted; ill conduct soils fine ornaments worse than dirt. But if she's beauteous, she's sufficiently adorned.

Philolaches [apart] — Too long have I withheld my hand. [Coming forward.] What are you about here?

Philematium-I'm decking myself out to please you.

Philolaches-You are dressed enough. [To SCAPHA.] Go you hence in doors, and take away this finery. [SCAPHA goes into the house.] But, my delight, my Philematium, I have a mind to regale together with you.

Philematium-And, i' faith, so I have with you; for what you have a mind to, the same have I a mind to, my delight. Philolaches-Ha! at twenty minæ that expression were

cheap.

Philematium - Give me ten, there's a dear; I wish to let you have that expression bought at a bargain.

Philolaches-You've already got ten mine with you; or reckon up the account: thirty minæ I gave for your freedomPhilematium - Why reproach me with that?

Philolaches-What, I reproach you with it? Why, I had rather that I myself were reproached with it; no money whatever for this long time have I ever laid out equally well.

Philematium-Surely, in loving you, I never could have better employed my pains.

Philolaches-The account, then, of receipts and expenditure fully tallies between ourselves; you love me, I love you

Each thinks that it is so deservedly. Those who rejoice at this, may they ever rejoice at the continuance of their own happiness. Those who envy, let not any one henceforth be ever envious of their blessings.

[A friend and his mistress came in; and while the party are carousing, the arrival of Philolaches' father is announced. The friend is too drunk to leave, and the party are at their wits' end. Tranio tells them to remain quiet in the house, which is shut up, and he sallies out to meet the father.]

ACT II.-SCENE I.

Enter THEUROPIDES, followed by ATTENDANTS.

Theuropides [to himself]-Neptune, I do return extreme thanks to thee that thou hast just dismissed me from thee, though scarce alive. But if, from this time forward, thou shalt only know that I have stirred a foot upon the main, there is no reason why, that instant, thou shouldst not do with me that which thou hast now wished to do. Away with you, away with you from me henceforth forever after to-day; what I was to intrust to thee, all of it have I now intrusted.

Enter TRANIO, overhearing him.

Tranio [apart] - By my troth, Neptune, you've been much to blame, to have lost this opportunity so fair.

Theuropides-After three years, I've arrived home from Egypt. I shall come a welcome guest to my household, I

suppose.

Tranio [apart] - Upon my faith, he might have come a much more welcome one, who had brought the tidings you were dead.

Theuropides [looking at the door] - But what means this? Is the door shut in the daytime? I'll knock. [Knocks at the door.] Hallo, there is any one going to open this door for me?

Tranio [coming forward, and speaking aloud] — What person is it that has come so near to our house?

Theuropides-Surely, this is my servant Tranio.

Tranio-O Theuropides, my master, welcome; I'm glad that you've arrived in safety. Have you been well all along?

Theuropides - All along, as you see.

Tranio-That's very good.

Theuropides - What about yourselves? Are you all mad?
Tranio- Why so?

Theuropides - For this reason; because you are walking about outside; not a born person is keeping watch in the house, either to open or to give an answer. With kicking with my feet I've almost broken in the panels.

Tranio- How now? Have you been touching this house? Theuropides — Why shouldn't I touch it? Why, with kicking it, I tell you, I've almost broken down the door.

Tranio-What, you touched it?

Theuropides I touched it, I tell you, and knocked at it.
Tranio-Out upon you!

Theuropides - Why so?

Tranio-By heavens ! 'twas ill done.
Theuropides-What is the matter?

Tranio — It cannot be expressed how shocking and dreadful a mischief you've been guilty of.

Theuropides How so?

Tranio-Take to flight, I beseech you, and get away from the house. Fly in this direction, fly closer to me. [He runs towards TRANIO.] What, did you touch the door?

Theuropides - How could I knock, if I didn't touch it?
Tranio-By all that's holy, you've been the death
Theuropides-Of what person?

Tranio- Of all your family.

Theuropides-May the gods and goddesses confound you with that omen.

Tranio-I'm afraid that you can't make satisfaction for yourself and them.

Theuropides-For what reason, or what new affair is this that you thus suddenly bring me news of?

Tranio-And [whispering] hark you, prithee, do bid those people to move away from here. [Pointing to the ATTENDANTS of THEUROPIDES.]

Theuropides [to the ATTENDANTS] - Move away from here. Tranio-Don't you touch the house. Touch you the ground as well. [Exeunt the ATTENDANTS. Theuropides-I' faith, prithee, do speak out now.

Tranio-Because it is now seven months that not a person has set foot within this house, and since we once for all left it