formed and placed by Providence, that it cannot be otherwise. Certainly then no one can expect us, at our age, to devote all the hours not occupied by our regular duties to the discussion of the great problems of Religion, Society, and Politics. Relaxation, recreation, is one of the most legitimate ends to be sought in our social intercourse. Recitations, societies, all the trifling occurrences of our daily life, may fairly claim a considerable share of our notice. Innocent gossip and idle fun are by no means to be tabooed. And they certainly are not likely to be. We are in much more danger of running to the other extreme, of neglecting higher and worthier matters for these lesser ones. Let us not be afraid of introducing into our freest and most familiar talk, subjects of permanent interest and weight. If we are good for anything at all, we must sometimes think of greater things than rushes, or prizes, or jolly times. Life is not all play, and we know it. Why then should we be afraid to recognize the fact in our intercourse with each other? I do not speak of religious matters, or questions of personal duty, There are a hundred subjects, less sacred than these, but much above the ordinary level of our talk at the table and under the elms. Studies, books, politics, our national affairs— why begin to name the fields for thought and discussion that open before us? We need not discuss them as philosophers or savans, but as persons of ordinary intelligence and common-sense; and even from this point find far more of pleasure in them, to say nothing of profit, than from the trifles that generally form the staples of our conversation. It has always seemed to me that one of the worst symptoms, as to the tone of thought and feeling among us, was to be found in the flippant, trifling way in which we habitually discuss almost every subject that comes before us. There is a very strong tendency to treat grave matters in a very light fashion. A stranger who should chance to overhear a fair sample of our ordinary conversations, into which questions deeply concerning the welfare of mankind, or of our country, were introduced, might well be astonished, and ask, "Do these young men lack heads or hearts, that they seem to view these things, that merit their most careful consideration, simply as matter for jest and repartee?" I think no thoughtful student can have failed to notice this fact, and to be painfully impressed by it. At the very time I write, for example, when the whole country watches breathlessly for the throw of the die in Pennsylvania, which may forever decide the fate of America, we-to our shame be it spoken !-speculate apparently with cool unconcern as to the issue, make bets on the result, and dis Exchange 1863.] JAN 2 '40 STRAY THOUGHTS ON CONVERSATION. 313 cuss the chances as though the opposing generals were two rival pugilists! Undoubtedly our words do our hearts some wrong; but after making all due allowance, the tone of our conversation in this respect must be the index of some radical evil in our common habits of life and thought, for the removal of which every true man among us ought to strive. There is one variety of conversation which most of us are in little danger of neglecting, but whose advantages we perhaps hardly realize. I refer to Argument; the Argument of the debating-society as carried on between individuals. It ought only to be practiced at the right time and in the right way. If protracted to any extent, and entered into with spirit, it becomes work, agreeable and exciting often, but yet work, and not to be introduced when simple rest or amusement is the chief object sought. There are numberless occasions when it is out of place and impertinent. Few characters are more disagreeable than the man who, whatever be the mood of those around him, can never let pass a chance to air his logic; who seems to regard all conversation as a warfare, and can let no stray remark or idle fancy stroll unpretentiously forth in peaceful garb, but he must meet it with hostile challenge and imposing display of bristling arguments. Mortal foe to all happy union of intellectual and social enjoyment is such! But there is a time for everything," and it is no reproach to Argument that it is subject to this universal law. When your mind is fresh and bright, with a companion whose mental strength is about equal to your own, sitting comfortably in your chamber, or, better yet, taking a vigorous constitutional-then, O fellow-student, is your time for one of these intellectual wrestling-matches! Then may you call out all your energies, and supple and toughen every mental sinew in the grapple and sway of the encounter! Debating-societies are very well to give fluent correctness of language, and ease when on the floor; but for severe training of the argumentative faculty itself, I maintain there is nothing equal to the close work which combat with a single adversary demands. Two or three things need to be observed, to conduct a conversation of this kind to the best advantage. It is very desirable that at the outset the exact point in dispute should be clearly stated and agreed upon; otherwise will come vexatious misunderstandings and waste of strength. Of course the question should be one which springs up naturally in the free course of conversation, that it may be one in which both parties are interested. The necessity of keeping one's temper throughout, need hardly be insisted on; everyone acknowl edges it, and almost everyone sometimes finds difficulty in so doing. It may be said, however, that a good way to secure this end, and in several respects an agreeable variation in the manner of proceeding, is, to make the party consist of four, evenly divided in numbers, and if possible in ability. This lessens the severity of the strain on the mind, and so in one direction diminishes the advantage gained; but there is some compensation for this in the greater scope and variety which is secured to the discussion. Certainly it is very pleasant, in this as in other things, to have a partner with whom to exchange good offices of support and assistance when hard pressed, and to double the pleasure of success or halve the chagrin of failure. One thing above all-be honest and straight-forward! Regard all quibbles and evasions with hearty contempt. They are bad every way, frustrating the object of debate, cultivating no power but what is undesirable, and as truly blunting the moral sensibilities as any other form of dishonesty. If you find yourself fairly beaten, either on a subordinate point or the general question, the best way is to frankly acknowledge it. This is no easy thing to do, especially as in this game any one of tolerable ingenuity can generally find some pretext to avoid acknowleding a check-mate. But any one of several considerations ought to make you do it. In the first place, it is only just to your antagonist. He has fairly won a victory over you, and it is not honorable to try to cheat him out of it. You can much better afford to own yourself worsted in an intellectual encounter, than to resort to a subterfuge to avoid the confession. Besides, your opponent can hardly fail to see that the advantage is on his side, and he will respect your ability none the more, and your honesty all the less, for any attempt on your part to ignore the fact. And finally, the ability to honestly and handsomely confess one's self mistaken, is itself worth taking no little pains to acquire. One thing is worth remembering in conversation; viz: that almost every person has one subject, perhaps more than one, on which he can talk better than on any other. Perhaps it is adventures or travels of his own; perhaps some particular branch of science or literature; per haps the business in which he is engaged. At any rate it interests him, and he can probably give you some new facts or ideas in regard to it. These will very probably be of real value, as increasing your stock of general knowledge, and perhaps introducing you to entirely new fields of thought and investigation. It is therefore well worth while, even when talking with a person of less than ordinary ability, to try to ascertain what is the subject on which he is most at home. Quite possibly you will find that here he is interesting and instructive, perhaps even eloquent, when his thoughts on other subjects are shallow and common-place. Real wit is one of the brightest ornaments of conversation, and there are few topics in connection with which its display is inappropriate. In talk on ordinary affairs, a really good joke is not often out of place. And far be it from us to say that even poor jokes should always be frowned on! There are some occasions when every one is disposed to enjoy and be amused with the merest trifles. This happy frame of mind is especially frequent at our time of life, and in circumstances with so little real care or trouble as those of most of us. If at such times we can have genuine wit to amuse us, so much the better; but if not, an inferior article will often answer every purpose. Alas for us if we were only to laugh when it could be logically proved that something really laughable had been said or done! We should lose many bright hours that we enjoy now, and shall enjoy remembering hereafter. But on the other hand, the habit of introducing poor jokes into all conversation, upon the slightest provocation, is a detestable one. A man can often endure to have the thread of his argument broken, or the effect of his grave speeches destroyed, by a witty saying that causes more pleasure than it mars. But to crowd a wretched pun or senseless jest into an earnest discussion of grave subjects, is an offense against good taste, and an insult to those engaged in the conversation. One more remark, and I will bring this rambling article to a close. The freedom and familiarity that in so marked a degree characterize our student intercourse, along with many advantages, bring some evils. One of these is, that we are in danger of forgetting those little matters of courtesy and consideration, which seem unimportant, but really have so refining and elevating a tendency. In our peculiar circumstances, we can well afford to dispense with many mere formal observances which we should feel obliged to regard elsewhere. But we cannot afford to neglect anything which a nice consideration for the feelings of those around ns would dictate. The true gentleman is a gentleman everywhere; and though his manners may be adapted in form to his circumstances, the spirit that moulds them must ever be the same. That spirit is the spirit of Courtesy, and true Courtesy is but one of the forms of the great Christian virtue of Charity. G. S. M. Sermons and Pictures. THE other day I saw a child put its hand through the palings of the garden, and pull a magnificent tea-rose. The boy seemed to know that he was doing wrong; for he looked about him guiltily, and paused for a moment, but his morality was not stern enough to resist the witchery of the beautiful creature, so he secured his prize and made off with it speedily. In plucking that rose this little iconoclastic flower-thief had completely demolished the popular Unitarianism which says that Religion and the Sense of Beauty are one. Here, you see, on the contrary, there was a struggle between Morality and the Sense of Beauty for the mastery. His Esthetics wanted to pull the rose-his Ethics told him he must not. But, just then, the dainty tint and the dainty perfume were more attractive than his decalogue. So Beauty won the day, and the homely "thou shalt not steal," suffered an ignominious defeat. It is against this indistinct conception of the Esthetic and the Ethical-this theoretic confusion of Taste and Morality, and the consequent practical confusion of the pulpit and the picture-gallery, that I wish to protest. By morality I do not mean the sense of moral Beauty, for moral Beauty is as much within the realm of Taste as any other kind of beauty. A wrong action might jar harshly upon a poet's sense of universal harmony, and yet might not touch his conscience in the least. I might think virtue very beautiful, I might paint only Madonnas and write of none but Evangelines, but when virtue lays its hand upon my Bank-account, or demands the sacrifice of my carnal appetites, I might deny her claims without being guilty of inconsistency. Dr. Johnson's "Who drives fat oxen must himself be fat," is not a whit more absurd than the supposition that a man who writes beautiful morality must himself be moral. An immoral poet will see much more of beauty in morality than a saintly proser, because he will see more beauty everywhere. Not only so, indeed, but I rather think that the poet's immorality is more an aid than a hindrance. You can discover nowhere in the language a more complete collection of tasteless trash than you will find in our hymn books. Much the greater number are written by religious men; but the most tender and touching, if not the best, is the work of Tom Moore. Cowper, a religious poet and a man of nobler genius than Moore, has also a hymn in the collection, which is much inferior to the production of the wicked and rollicking Irishman. This looks as if the religion of the one was a hindrance, while the immorality of the other was an aid. |