Phormio. And Phanium is left alone? Geta. Yes. Phormio. And the old gentleman is angry? Phormio (to himself). Upon you alone, Phormio, devolves the conduct of this affair; you're the one who has made this dish, and you're the one who must eat it. Set about it then! Geta. Pray, help us. Phormio (to himself). Suppose he asks — plies What if he re Geta. It was you who drove him to it. Phormio (to himself). I have it, I think. Phormio. Bring the old fellow out. I've all my plans arranged. Geta. What are you going to do? Phormio. Just what you want me to do, have Phanium stay where she is, free Antipho from blame, turn aside the current of the old man's wrath upon myself. Geta. You're a plucky fellow, and a friend indeed. But, Phormio, I'm often afraid that your dare-devil ways will land you in the stocks some day. Phormio. Not a bit of it. I've had experience, and can see my way clearly now. Just think of all the people I've beaten out of their very lives-foreigners and citizens; the better I know the way, the oftener I try it. Come, tell me now, have you ever heard of any action for assault being brought against me? Geta. How do you account for that? Phormio. It's this way: the net is not spread for the hawk or the kite, that do us harm; it's laid for those that do us none at all. In the one case there's profit, in the other mere labor lost. Men who have something to lose are exposed to divers perils, but I have nothing, and everybody knows it. What's that you say? Have me convicted, and take me to jail? No, no! they don't care to support a big eater, and to my mind they 're wise not to wish to requite an injury by the greatest of favors. Geta. Antipho will never be able to reward you as you deserve. Phormio. That's true, but then no one is ever as grateful to his patron as he ought to be. Just think! You go to his house scot-free, you've had your bath, been anointed, there's not a care on your mind, while he has all the worry and expense. You have a good time, he frets and fumes. You may laugh, drink first, take your place first. Then a puzzling dinner is set before you. Geta. What do you mean by that? Phormio. One where you are puzzled which dish you had better taste first. Reckoning up how pleasant, how delicious these things are, should n't you regard the man who furnishes them as a god incarnate? Geta. Here's the old man! Mind what you 're doing; it's the first onset that's always the fiercest. If you hold your own in that, all the rest will be mere [They retire to back of stage. play. SCENE 2. Enter DEMIPHO and his three advisers. Demipho. Did you ever hear of anybody being wronged in a more insulting way than I have been in this matter? Stand by me, I pray you. Geta (aside). He's furious. Phormio (aside). Just keep your eye on me; I'll stır him up presently. (Aloud.) Good heavens! Phanium not related to him? Is that what Demipho says? Does Demipho say that she's not related to him? Geta. That's what he says. Demipho. I believe that this is the very man I was speaking of. Follow me. Phormio. And says he does n't know who her father was? Geta. That's what he says. Phormio. And denies all knowledge of Stilpo? Phormio. Because the poor girl was left in want, people don't know her father, and she herself is neglected. Just see what avarice does. Geta. If you cast any slurs on my master, you'll hear from me to your sorrow. Demipho. The insolence of the fellow! He has actually come here to accuse me ! Phormio. As for the young man, I've no quarrel with him for not knowing much about my friend, who was well on in years, and in poor circumstances. He earned his living by the work of his hands, and so he generally stayed in the country, where he held some land under my father. I've often heard him tell how this kinsman of his neglected him. But what a man he was! the best I've ever known. Geta. Something of a contrast between him and you! Phormio. Oh, go and be hanged! If I had n't thought so highly of him, I never should have got into all this trouble with your family for the daughter's sake, whom your master is now treating so shabbily. Geta. You scoundrel, are you going to continue abusing my master behind his back? Phormio. But he deserves it. Geta. You say so, you jail-bird? Demipho. Geta! Geta. You thief! You swindler! Phormio (aside). Answer him. Geta. Who is it? Oh ! Demipho. Silence! Geta. This fellow has never ceased to heap abuse on you behind your back, saying things which don't apply to you at all, but to himself. Demipho. Hold your tongue. (TO PHORMIO.) Young man, pray answer me, if you please. Just explain to me who that friend of yours was, and how he claimed kinship with me. Phormio. Fishing, just as if you did n't know him! Demipho. I know him? Phormio. Yes. Demipho. I tell you that I don't know him; recall him to my memory, since you say I do. Phormio. What, not know your own cousin? name. Tell me his Phormio. His name? Certainly. Demipho. Why don't you tell it to me? Phormio (aside). By Heaven, it's all over with me! I've forgotten his name. Demipho. Eh! What's that you're saying? Phormio (aside). Geta, if you remember what we said just now, prompt me. (Aloud.) Well, I won't tell you his name; you come to pump me, as if you did n't know. Demipho. I pump you? Geta (aside to PHORMIO). Stilpo. Phormio. But after all, what do I care? His name was Stilpo. Demipho. Whom did you say? Phormio. Stilpo, I say; you knew him. Demipho. I never knew him, and I never had a kinsman of that name. Phormio. So? Are you not ashamed? Now if he had left behind him a property worth ten talentsDemipho. The gods confound you! Phormio. You'd have been the very first to trace your ancestry from memory, going back to grandfather and great-grandfather. Demipho. I take you at your word. In that case I should on my return home have told everybody how she was related to me. Now do you do likewise. Pray, how is she related to me? Geta. Well done, our side! (Aside to PHORMIO.) Look out, you there! Phormio. I've already explained the whole matter clearly to those to whom it was my duty to explain it, the gentlemen of the jury. If what I said was untrue, why did n't your son disprove it? Demipho. My son, indeed! I can't speak of his folly in the terms it deserves. |