CHAPTER IX.

[ADDRESS delivered before the Temperance Society of the town of Malta. Saratoga County, New York, at their Annual Meeting, March 8, 1884.]

ANECDOTE OF A DRUNKARD'S BOY FROM HIS WORDS, "I WOULD TAKE THE WHISKY."

MR. PRESIDENT-FELLOW CITIZENS :

As the motto of my present address, I will relate an anecdote which may be relied on by the public as authentic.

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A clergyman residing in one of the counties of the State of New York was in his barn not many months ago, in company with a son of his, a young man of about seventeen years of age, who was at work husking corn. ently came into the barn also a neighboring lad of about ten or twelve years of age. His parents ranked among the poorest class of people in the country. They resided in a small log cabin by the side of a market road, with a considerable number of almost half naked children, and doubtless at many times felt the pressure of adversity sorely upon them. Neither the man, nor his wife, nor a child in the cottage, could read in any book of any language, and all of them appeared perfectly contented to remain in ignorance of all the privileges, advantages, and happiness to be derived from books, and learning, and the knowledge of the world.

All that the parents appeared to aspire after, was food and other indispensables of life for themselves and their children, and occasionally, or as often as their means would permit, to procure something which was deemed necessary to revive and cheer up their spirits, and render the whole household, from oldest to youngest, happy in the enjoyment of the fireside.

This something, which was deemed essential to promote the happiness of that family, was not, occasionally, a better fire than usual, nor a roast turkey, nor any change of diet which would be calculated to afford a season of feasting and family repast. But the thing which was often tried, and found, without mistake, to render a poor, ignorant family at once, in feeling, as rich, and comfortable, and happy as any of their neighbors, was a jug of whisky. Whisky was the delightful thing. Its enchanting power proved abundantly sufficient at times to counterbalance all the real and imaginary evils of life, and to soothe and lull the senses into a state of quiet repose and insensibility of fear and danger.

A few shillings laid out for whisky, and drank freely both by parents and children, would operate on the whole family circle to a degree most animating. In that cottage, while its inmates were under the influence of whisky, a passing traveler might have his ears saluted sometimes with outrageous oaths, quarrels, brawls, and fightings; and sometimes with the sweet melody of singing and dancing, originating from a circle of children in tatters, and sometimes almost half starved.

When the jug was emptied of its animatir g beverage, a

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season of moroseness generally followed, interspersed with lucid intervals of idleness, and as much drudgery of some kind or another, as absolute necessity forced upon them to answer the imperious mandates of nature, and keep them from starving, until means should be found practicable and adequate to replenish the jug of whisky, and prepare for another vacation from the hated toils of life.

Frequently, however, it was the case that the male members of the family found an opportunity of gratifying the pleasures of appetite at some public place of resort, where the much-loved whisky is freely given as a reward for some menial service. Such opportunities were frequently sought by the father and the sons of his household, who were ever ready to perform almost any kind of drudgery for persons who would pay for such services in whisky.

This wretched family lived within a short distance of a very noted and extensive tavern establishment, which was always kept well replenished with all kinds of liquor for the accommodation of travelers, and a plenty, also, to pay for any services that might be needed from loafers who esteemed it a privilege to receive pay for their labor in whisky. Year after year it was not an uncommon thing to see the father of the family above described, and several of his boys, loitering round that tavern from morning till late in the night, to see and hear all that could be seen and heard, to perform some little office for travelers, who would reward them with whisky; and also to wait on the landlord sufficient to pay him for an occasional luncheon, and as much whisky as would be sufficient to keep them in a happy mood. And when all the services of the day were thus

performed, and the refreshments of the day and evening were thus received, frequently at a very late hour of the night, they would take their leave of the landlord, as perfectly satisfied with their wages as he was with their services, and home they would trudge, or stagger, to the tune of a whistle, or some other vocal music of nature, to take a nap in the bunk, the better to prepare them for the like services and wages of another day.

The government of this family was sometimes anarchy, sometimes monarchy, and sometimes republican. Occasionally, the father would get intoxicated with passion as well as with whisky, and then the government would be administered in a thrashing to some purpose, let the cause be what it would. When he was good-natured, each one of the family was allowed to possess the power of administering the principles of self-government—to talk as he pleased, to sing as he pleased, to swear as he pleased, to dance as he pleased, to go and come when, where, and as he pleased, and stay as long as he pleased. If there were a horse-race, or a show, or a bee (as it is sometimes called), or a revel of any description in the region round about, boys of from ten to fifteen years of age, in tatters from head to foot, would be there, with all that boldness and self-confidence which are the peculiar characteristics of those who are born under and educated in the principles of whisky-government. And when it was their pleasure to return home, whether by day or night, if good-humor permitted, the family circle would be regaled on hearing the bold, self-important little fellows reccunt the feats which they had performed or witnessed at the

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celebrated bacchanals which had been graced with their attendance.

Such was the general character of the above described family, who lived in the neighborhood of the clergyman referred to One of the boys, it was stated, of this family, came at a certain time into the barn of the clergyman, where the following dialogue took place between the clergyman and the boy :

Clergyman. Well, my boy, do you love to work?

Boy. I do 'no. I love to work well enough. [Stepping along toward the work in which the clergyman's son was engaged, he began to husk corn with some degree of energy.]

Cler. Truly, you work very well. Can you read any? Boy. No; I never went to school. [Kept on work smartly.]

Cler. What do you think about going to school, and learning to read, as other boys do, that you may be able to read good books?

Boy. I don't think much about it.

Cler.

Would you not like to be able to read?

Boy. I don't care any thing about it. [Began to look somewhat sour, but kept on work.]

Cler. Well, my boy, which of the two following things would you choose, if you could have either for a wish Say, now, if you could have a hogshead of whisky given to you for a wish; or, if you could have good learning given to you by some person who would be able and willing to teach you, till you could read well, and write well, and be able keep accounts, and do business to your own